(no subject)
so yeah i though i'd update this for a change. i guess these days i'm just taking things with stride. hoping that tomorrow goes as well or as better as today. i try not to think of the future much just because i'm not sure what it holds these days. but it always ends up sneaking up on me in the end. i know what i'd like it to hold. but we don't always get what we want. dan and i have been going out for more than half a year now. it feels weird to say usually i'm not with a guy for more than 2 weeks. it's nice though i like it. i feel comfortable. i love him. it almost feels like i'm at, for lack of better words, a calm before a storm. everything is going smoothly right now but for some reason it doesn't seem like it's going to last. i know things are going to get hectic again. i have dinner theatre coming up this week, and i've got 2 assignments due for the paper. one i'm going to do the interview and pictures on saturday and the other I have to get in touch with the person but I don't have a deadline. then i'm going back to work hopefully not this week but next week so i have to put together a list of days i can't work considering I have the musical at the state coming up starting on may 31st which is in less than 4 weeks and we aren't even close to being finished yet. then i have a final in math which is going to be our last test grade and all FOUR of my finals in english coming up which isn't going to be a grade but still you KNOW constantine will be looking to see how we did. then i'm reading this novel for constantine called Main Street which is one of the most boring things i have ever read and i'm not comprehending a word of it. then i have a history project due this week and we're doing our presentation on not this monday but next monday and i'm missing another day of school because of a field trip and i'll have to get caught up again. i want to take my driving test but my parents won't let me and even if i did get my license they wouldn't let me drive on my own yet. i've been rambling, i'm aware. but still. that's just a few of the things running through my head. dan finally got a car so i guess we'll be seeing a little bit more of each other. it's weird when we don't see each other for a while. i guess i'm not used to it. i was used to seeing him a few times a week then work gets in the way of things, and parents get in the way of things and i just guess i missed him. i kinda felt like we were almost getting torn apart for a little while but when i talked to him it made me feel stupid that i felt like that. he came over last night and it was nice to just be with him again. yesterday was horrible. i don't even want to talk about it. all i have to say is i'm so thankful for having people like becca and dan in my life. they support me more than they'll ever know. i never knew what it was like to have people there for me while i was growing up. i didn't have many friends. to finally have people that generally care for me is a nice change. i need that. i depend on it. it's what i need. if i didn't have them i'm not sure what i would do. i've got to go get ready for theatre. if ever bilbo baggins's phrase "i feel like butter spread over too much bread" is appropriate it's now. i need to prioritize my extracurricular activities. with ap classes next year i'm not sure if i'll be able to hold. then with sats and everything. oh geez. i need to turn off my thinking process and bury it in the backyard. i'll never make it unless i stop worrying.