(no subject)
[i dont know how i keep smiling, or how i can fake this so well]
matt sent me a message today, this is what it read:
why is it that now you have to go and talk to all of my friends? is this some kind of way to get back at me or make hurt more? i just want to tell you that there will never, ever, be some one that could replace you. once you said that you think we met each other too early on. and i think that is totally true. the years that we are going through are so fucking shity, that everything gets brought down with it.....when we both have matured, when we both have lived, and learned all there is to learn. i think that when i straighten out, sobre up, and get a job. which is going to be soon enough, because i have to be clean for my job. i think that a whole nother relationship can be formed. completely start from scratch. things will be different. but you will still be the crysee that i have always loved. if you ever want to talk to me. i still.....would like someone i could talk to.
im not exactly sure what to say to that.. but i totally agree.
hes perfect for me but we met too early on to be able to make something great of our relationship, and something great out of the people we have the potential to be. i know im mature enough, i get it all the time, thats why i hang out with people alot older than me.. they get confused and somtimes forget im 16 by the way i handle situations, the way i act, and the things ive already gone through. its nice, though, to be able to make so many right decisions for my self at such a young age, but i still know i have a lot more to learn and a lot more to overcome, and alot more to be hurt and to fuck up. but i know that im one step ahead of the game.. because i was ready for this relationship he... was not.
i would still be there for him, and i would reply to this message, if brittany wouldnt have come into the picture, i would have been there for him untill the day i died, he could have fucked up with anything, and i still would have been there. but the fact that he thinks he can replace me and make someone else more important than me and still think that im gonna be there, on my hands and knees, ready to make him happy and make everything ok..
not a chance.
if anyone has any advice, i would really apreciate it, i just dont know what to do.. please, someone tell me