no use crying over smeared mascara
friday night and i'm sitting online. lame. i was supposed to go hang out with everyone tonight but since amanda worked till 10, couldn't get in touch with nate everything was just screwed. i didn't feel like going without knowing where to. of course now they're all over at eric and jenn's. i don't want to go there so i'll stay at home alone. i am pissed off because i wasted make up and my hair actually looked badass and for what..not a damn thing. i'm pissed about other things. atleast i'm feeling something other than complete brain numbness. i don't know why i'm so bothered by all of it. i used to sit at home alone all of the time. i guess because i feel left out or something. i'm not mad at my parents. i understand why they'd get upset about me leaving so late at night..one of the reasons i said screw it. i know they probably think i don't care about what they think or how i make them feel but i do. i respect my parents alot and i respect how i was raised.
i just wish i had one friend that i completely connected with that actually lived here. i'm starting to get annoyed. i haven't found a steady friendship here since dana left. she was everything to me. i don't even talk to her anymore because we're so different.
i wish i felt free. not in the sense of wanting to party and do whatever cause that isn't really me. instead, i wish i could just get up and go..go to wherever and see whatever. there's so much in this world and as of right now i'm limited to greenville, sc which sucks.
i finally received my ged results. i passed. i was gonna frame the diploma but i didn't have a frame large enough to fit it. my parents were really proud but i guess it hasn't really hit me yet. i suppose it's from how shitty i've been feeling lately. now i have no excuse as to why i can't do anything. i'm gonna find out when i can apply to greenville tech and what kind of help i can get. if i can stick out 2 years and do well i can finally get out of here. only problem with that is leaving my parents. i think i would emotionally die. my parents are my world. i can't live without them. i absolutely could not. i have one sibling whom i've never met, my parents are my best friends, my family. what am i without them?
a random thought..my mom asked me why my pupils are always dialated..i have no idea but that's a little weird.
tomorrow i have a meeting at 9 am which sucks monkey butt. my work schedule next week is absolutely horrible. i will definately be on the look out for a new job. now i have that piece of paper that gives me the ability.other than my store meeting i have no plans. i wish my visa giftcard would come in the mail. i'm starting to get pissed off. that's $25 i could use..i guess i'll just lay out or something and relax out in the sun. i'm actually getting a tan which i haven't had in about 2 years. i just stay pale cause i have freckles on my face and i hate when they get all dark. bleh. maybe tomorrow i can go out and actually do something fun. i wish i had some spending cash i'd go see shrek 2. haha it looks cute.
- sunday i plan to stay home and spend time with my parents. my dad is cooking a huge dinner. i can't wait. country food=the best.
i'm gonna check out ticketmaster and find out ticket info for the cure. i've never gone to a concert and the cure would be awesome for a first time. of course they're playing in atlanta but that's only about 2 hours away. worth the drive. i think nate wants to go so of course everyone else will also. maybe not..i think nate and i are the only ones who know who the cure is and actually like them.
beh. no one is on unless brillo just doesn't wanna talk to me :p
i guess i'll just chill and listen to 80's that always makes me happy. i love this song. if nothing else i'll go watch revenge of the nerds.
-the end.
i just wish i had one friend that i completely connected with that actually lived here. i'm starting to get annoyed. i haven't found a steady friendship here since dana left. she was everything to me. i don't even talk to her anymore because we're so different.
i wish i felt free. not in the sense of wanting to party and do whatever cause that isn't really me. instead, i wish i could just get up and go..go to wherever and see whatever. there's so much in this world and as of right now i'm limited to greenville, sc which sucks.
i finally received my ged results. i passed. i was gonna frame the diploma but i didn't have a frame large enough to fit it. my parents were really proud but i guess it hasn't really hit me yet. i suppose it's from how shitty i've been feeling lately. now i have no excuse as to why i can't do anything. i'm gonna find out when i can apply to greenville tech and what kind of help i can get. if i can stick out 2 years and do well i can finally get out of here. only problem with that is leaving my parents. i think i would emotionally die. my parents are my world. i can't live without them. i absolutely could not. i have one sibling whom i've never met, my parents are my best friends, my family. what am i without them?
a random thought..my mom asked me why my pupils are always dialated..i have no idea but that's a little weird.
tomorrow i have a meeting at 9 am which sucks monkey butt. my work schedule next week is absolutely horrible. i will definately be on the look out for a new job. now i have that piece of paper that gives me the ability.other than my store meeting i have no plans. i wish my visa giftcard would come in the mail. i'm starting to get pissed off. that's $25 i could use..i guess i'll just lay out or something and relax out in the sun. i'm actually getting a tan which i haven't had in about 2 years. i just stay pale cause i have freckles on my face and i hate when they get all dark. bleh. maybe tomorrow i can go out and actually do something fun. i wish i had some spending cash i'd go see shrek 2. haha it looks cute.
- sunday i plan to stay home and spend time with my parents. my dad is cooking a huge dinner. i can't wait. country food=the best.
i'm gonna check out ticketmaster and find out ticket info for the cure. i've never gone to a concert and the cure would be awesome for a first time. of course they're playing in atlanta but that's only about 2 hours away. worth the drive. i think nate wants to go so of course everyone else will also. maybe not..i think nate and i are the only ones who know who the cure is and actually like them.
beh. no one is on unless brillo just doesn't wanna talk to me :p
i guess i'll just chill and listen to 80's that always makes me happy. i love this song. if nothing else i'll go watch revenge of the nerds.
-the end.