..i'm getting good at rambling...
Sooo...I've been doing a lot of thinking, which isn't suprising if you know me because I think wayyy too much. I have extremely high expectations of this year and I'm getting over my being shy. I've noticed that I've gotten more out spoken because fuck you if I piss you off. I'm always going to be me. I'm begginging to realize that Kayla and I might not end up at the same college and that's really going to suck because we've been best friends since we were little and we kind of work off each other, we both bring qualities that the other doesn't posses and it works for us. And without her, I'm going to be stuck somewhere with no friends because I suck at talking to people at first but whatev. I'm ready to leave Texas and be on my own, without the people who tear me down so very often. I will miss my friends, but if theyre worth it then I believe we'll keep in contact.
As for my "love" life. ha. I don't know where it stands. I think I'm like the guy on Eternal Sunshine for the spotless mind, I 'fall in love' with any guy who shows me attention. I really don't like that. Because some of the guys I like are totally worth liking, but I dont think I would ever have a chance in hell with them, besides being friends. And other's are typical guys who don't want real relationships. I have the idea perfect guy in my head, and I've met a couple of people who have come really close but I just don't see it happening in real life. Suuure I'm not like other girls, but that's not always good. Some guys want you to be like other girls. I'm begging to doubt my future with a significant other. But it's all good. And then I have a great guy here, but I plan on moving out of San Antonio...out of Texas as soon as possible after graduation so it's kind of like...why do I want to get attached to a guy that I'm going to have to leave.
There's a lot of things I plan on doing in my life and when I set my heart on something, I pretty much go for it. There's a lot I'm going to have to give up to get what I want to gain though. I was looking at an application to a college that I really wanted to go to a year ago, and I no longer wish to...but they sent me an application and I was like..this is really happening. It's weird to me.
I'm happy with things though. I mean yeah theyre not always too great around here, and I go through a lot of shit that most people don't have to deal with but hey, it's all good. I'm happy with who I am...and I actually know who I am..how many people can actually say they know who they are? Not many that I know.
I see so many people who just let life pass them by, and I don't want that to be me. I want to enjoy every moment of it and I'm going to.
School starts tomorrow, the first day of my senior year. Fuck all the bullshit. I'm here to enjoy it [while staying at the top of the class of course] and you can either join me or not.
And I'm still looking for that guy who will make me mixed tapes. Applications are always welcome. =)
until next time...*bye*
xxx
-kRiSt4
...actions are better than fucking words...
As for my "love" life. ha. I don't know where it stands. I think I'm like the guy on Eternal Sunshine for the spotless mind, I 'fall in love' with any guy who shows me attention. I really don't like that. Because some of the guys I like are totally worth liking, but I dont think I would ever have a chance in hell with them, besides being friends. And other's are typical guys who don't want real relationships. I have the idea perfect guy in my head, and I've met a couple of people who have come really close but I just don't see it happening in real life. Suuure I'm not like other girls, but that's not always good. Some guys want you to be like other girls. I'm begging to doubt my future with a significant other. But it's all good. And then I have a great guy here, but I plan on moving out of San Antonio...out of Texas as soon as possible after graduation so it's kind of like...why do I want to get attached to a guy that I'm going to have to leave.
There's a lot of things I plan on doing in my life and when I set my heart on something, I pretty much go for it. There's a lot I'm going to have to give up to get what I want to gain though. I was looking at an application to a college that I really wanted to go to a year ago, and I no longer wish to...but they sent me an application and I was like..this is really happening. It's weird to me.
I'm happy with things though. I mean yeah theyre not always too great around here, and I go through a lot of shit that most people don't have to deal with but hey, it's all good. I'm happy with who I am...and I actually know who I am..how many people can actually say they know who they are? Not many that I know.
I see so many people who just let life pass them by, and I don't want that to be me. I want to enjoy every moment of it and I'm going to.
School starts tomorrow, the first day of my senior year. Fuck all the bullshit. I'm here to enjoy it [while staying at the top of the class of course] and you can either join me or not.
And I'm still looking for that guy who will make me mixed tapes. Applications are always welcome. =)
until next time...*bye*
xxx
-kRiSt4
...actions are better than fucking words...