(no subject)
I've become so terrible at keeping up with this, although i dont think i'll ever abandon it because i need this "space" for situations like the one im currently frustrated with.
Lets begin with my family life. I find myself getting more and more frustrated with feeling obligated to drive back and forth between annandale, centreville, and woodbridge. I want to keep everyone happy but i always find myself to tired to make the drive and most of the time, i get frustrated because they always want to go different places and spend money when none of them do have money and its always my credit card. I dont want my younger sister to think i dont care for her but its getting hard.
now on to work. Working at my store is becoming easier and easier. However, i am almost 2 months overdue for my raise. My boss thinks its okay because I'll receive retro pay but really, no one likes to be gipped out of potential christmas money or funding for school money. I also feels like she expects to much from me considering ive yet to get my raise, and she has me working two days a week at another store. I worked two days at chantilly crossing last week and wanted to gauge my eyeballs out, violently. that entire atmosphere makes angry. They have the shittiest set up and the laziest baristas, and believe or not, even though i explain the the pathetic baristas that work there, how what i am trying to do is make things EASIER they have the nerve to flip out on me and say im abusing their feelings, im trying to take over, or im causing problems. Fuck that shit.If you dont appreciate what other stores adore about me, then you dont get shit from me. I explained to my boss that the situation she has put me in is clearly unacceptable and i can't work there until its rectified. So they're "working on it" which means im not going to see results until the two months i have to fucking be there, is over.
lastly, my social life. Lately I feel like everyone hates me due to the fact that im tired all the time which means im going out less and less. that doesnt stop john from going out, but he chooses to stay by me even though hes more than welcome to go out and enjoy a night with the guys. A few days ago he called himself pussy whipped and i was pissed. Nas called him pussy whipped at alans birthday [party because john and i were leaving early. i had to fucking open. i had to leave. john was the one that didnt want to stay. this isn't my fault. and im frustrated.
as well, big news: joe and jenifer broke up which means the "j" team( joe, jenifer, me, and john) is no more. Joe is fucking depressed all over facebook and this week happens to be his birthday. Fucking Jennifer invites john to a party but doesn't invite me. thats bullshit and im angry as hell. i like joe, i think hes a sweet guy and he deserves the best because he has so much to offer. Jennifer really isnt shit. Sshe blocked me completely from her facebook after i told her my dad died which is why i havent spoken to her. what a fucking bitch. I dont think ive ever hated someone as much as i hate her. thats so fucking sad and terrible to say.
im feeling slightly insane at the moment for even talking about any of this but no one listens to me. john just smoothes things over with the "its going to be okay, everything will be fine" bullshit. whatever happened to talking? or venting? or couselors?!?!
to think, this is the shit im majoring in. sighhh.
Lets begin with my family life. I find myself getting more and more frustrated with feeling obligated to drive back and forth between annandale, centreville, and woodbridge. I want to keep everyone happy but i always find myself to tired to make the drive and most of the time, i get frustrated because they always want to go different places and spend money when none of them do have money and its always my credit card. I dont want my younger sister to think i dont care for her but its getting hard.
now on to work. Working at my store is becoming easier and easier. However, i am almost 2 months overdue for my raise. My boss thinks its okay because I'll receive retro pay but really, no one likes to be gipped out of potential christmas money or funding for school money. I also feels like she expects to much from me considering ive yet to get my raise, and she has me working two days a week at another store. I worked two days at chantilly crossing last week and wanted to gauge my eyeballs out, violently. that entire atmosphere makes angry. They have the shittiest set up and the laziest baristas, and believe or not, even though i explain the the pathetic baristas that work there, how what i am trying to do is make things EASIER they have the nerve to flip out on me and say im abusing their feelings, im trying to take over, or im causing problems. Fuck that shit.If you dont appreciate what other stores adore about me, then you dont get shit from me. I explained to my boss that the situation she has put me in is clearly unacceptable and i can't work there until its rectified. So they're "working on it" which means im not going to see results until the two months i have to fucking be there, is over.
lastly, my social life. Lately I feel like everyone hates me due to the fact that im tired all the time which means im going out less and less. that doesnt stop john from going out, but he chooses to stay by me even though hes more than welcome to go out and enjoy a night with the guys. A few days ago he called himself pussy whipped and i was pissed. Nas called him pussy whipped at alans birthday [party because john and i were leaving early. i had to fucking open. i had to leave. john was the one that didnt want to stay. this isn't my fault. and im frustrated.
as well, big news: joe and jenifer broke up which means the "j" team( joe, jenifer, me, and john) is no more. Joe is fucking depressed all over facebook and this week happens to be his birthday. Fucking Jennifer invites john to a party but doesn't invite me. thats bullshit and im angry as hell. i like joe, i think hes a sweet guy and he deserves the best because he has so much to offer. Jennifer really isnt shit. Sshe blocked me completely from her facebook after i told her my dad died which is why i havent spoken to her. what a fucking bitch. I dont think ive ever hated someone as much as i hate her. thats so fucking sad and terrible to say.
im feeling slightly insane at the moment for even talking about any of this but no one listens to me. john just smoothes things over with the "its going to be okay, everything will be fine" bullshit. whatever happened to talking? or venting? or couselors?!?!
to think, this is the shit im majoring in. sighhh.