(no subject)
Here goes.
John broke up with me yesterday. More or less I guess. He had the conversation with his dad about me and his dad said no.
I was well aware that when I began dating Joh that I would be dating the idea of this relationship turning into something solid, and the chance that it would be okay his family considering I'm not arabian.
It wasnt.
I couldnt believe that it was just like that. John assured me that I am an amazing person that I've changed him for the better.
I thought I honestly did everything I could to be that impressive, irreplaceable, unqiue and signficant person. I actually do feel(pardon the slight arrogance) that I am nothing ordinary, and I am something specific amoung a sea of ridiculous, empty headed women. I;m sure the male gender has its fair share of assholes but women have far to many hormones that they dont know what to do with themselves.
I have been a dancer for 16 years.
I've sang for the house of representatives, the senate, and president clinton.
I managed to graduate with a 3.8.
I got into the only three universities i applied to in high school.
I was accepted into Manhattan!! HELLO!
I have a brain. Not only o I have a brain but apparently I'm talented.
Johns parents dont know anything about me. That kills me. They are so focused on society and keeping up with tradition. I used to be really traditional as far as the catholic religion goes. But sometimes rules needs to be bent. They were obviously made to be broken if so many people have broken them and gotten away with it. You only have one life and it should be lived to the fullest. I realized that after Ben and I broke up. I went out and got a piercing. A respectable piercing but a piercing none the less. I went out and got a tattoo. A permanent memorial on my body to remind me that my best friend is still alive in my heart though she is no longer alive. I wear skirts, I dye my hair, I listen to queen, I listen to Brittney Spears. Are we coming to the point?
The point is, even though I'm insanely talented, insanely dedicated to my studies, and i have great common sence with perspective - i am nothing to johns parents but half hispanic and half italian. no where near middle eastern. And that automatically means I am nothing but trash. A dirty american. I guess I have my step mother to thank for educating me on how dirty americans are because she was the one who brought that to my attention 5 years ago when she told my uncle, that I am a dirty american.
How did I mess this relationship up? I tried so hard. I thought I learned my lesson when Ben and I broke up.r
John broke up with me yesterday. More or less I guess. He had the conversation with his dad about me and his dad said no.
I was well aware that when I began dating Joh that I would be dating the idea of this relationship turning into something solid, and the chance that it would be okay his family considering I'm not arabian.
It wasnt.
I couldnt believe that it was just like that. John assured me that I am an amazing person that I've changed him for the better.
I thought I honestly did everything I could to be that impressive, irreplaceable, unqiue and signficant person. I actually do feel(pardon the slight arrogance) that I am nothing ordinary, and I am something specific amoung a sea of ridiculous, empty headed women. I;m sure the male gender has its fair share of assholes but women have far to many hormones that they dont know what to do with themselves.
I have been a dancer for 16 years.
I've sang for the house of representatives, the senate, and president clinton.
I managed to graduate with a 3.8.
I got into the only three universities i applied to in high school.
I was accepted into Manhattan!! HELLO!
I have a brain. Not only o I have a brain but apparently I'm talented.
Johns parents dont know anything about me. That kills me. They are so focused on society and keeping up with tradition. I used to be really traditional as far as the catholic religion goes. But sometimes rules needs to be bent. They were obviously made to be broken if so many people have broken them and gotten away with it. You only have one life and it should be lived to the fullest. I realized that after Ben and I broke up. I went out and got a piercing. A respectable piercing but a piercing none the less. I went out and got a tattoo. A permanent memorial on my body to remind me that my best friend is still alive in my heart though she is no longer alive. I wear skirts, I dye my hair, I listen to queen, I listen to Brittney Spears. Are we coming to the point?
The point is, even though I'm insanely talented, insanely dedicated to my studies, and i have great common sence with perspective - i am nothing to johns parents but half hispanic and half italian. no where near middle eastern. And that automatically means I am nothing but trash. A dirty american. I guess I have my step mother to thank for educating me on how dirty americans are because she was the one who brought that to my attention 5 years ago when she told my uncle, that I am a dirty american.
How did I mess this relationship up? I tried so hard. I thought I learned my lesson when Ben and I broke up.r