(no subject)
okay. so.
Its been almost 5 months since John and I began dating.
I have to admit I've never been happier.
We've had our rough times but its all worth it.
We're not argueing and fighting to break up, its noticeable that we're fighting and argueing because we care for each other.
I feel like he really is in love with me but unfortunately my insecurities do turn me into a bitter woman.
Its scary to think that he could be the last boy I date because of this relationship being so unexpected. As well as, being unexpectedly wonderful. I dated Ben for a long time and I couldnt see anything past him which is probably why I worked so hard towards the end. I thought he was all I was ever going to have and I couldnt find a light at the end of the tunnel so to speak.
John has opened me up to something special and meaningful. I find comfort in knowing that every kiss to him is more than that, and every hug is filled with emotion and strength. Every second we spend together, I want to remember forever - its amazing. He is truely a gift for putting up with Ben for so long.
Im getting nervous because the thought of marriage keeps coming up in my family and at work. I know John and I arent going to jump into marriage tomorrow but I really wouldnt mind spending the rest of my life with him. We talk about it enough, and we call each other husband and wife. Its refreshing.
I do have a problem with his flirtation but I am trying my absolute hardest to see past it. He really doesnt flirt very much. I guess its just from that one night when his friend Maria called that really put a hole between my head and heart. I still dont think he fully understands how I felt when I had to sit there listening to it. But I do know hes sorry.
That day I felt nothing but sharp pain in my chest and stomach. Its like he skipped my heart and ripped my soul into shreds. I know its pretty intense to say but I've fallen for John hard. He knows that. He treats me like an angel. So at the second I feel insecure I break down. I'm working on it and hes helping me but more or less, Ben really fucked me up and now I have to learn how to start living again.
I'll have you know, John is the perfect beginning to a new life.
Thank you baby.
10.14.07
Its been almost 5 months since John and I began dating.
I have to admit I've never been happier.
We've had our rough times but its all worth it.
We're not argueing and fighting to break up, its noticeable that we're fighting and argueing because we care for each other.
I feel like he really is in love with me but unfortunately my insecurities do turn me into a bitter woman.
Its scary to think that he could be the last boy I date because of this relationship being so unexpected. As well as, being unexpectedly wonderful. I dated Ben for a long time and I couldnt see anything past him which is probably why I worked so hard towards the end. I thought he was all I was ever going to have and I couldnt find a light at the end of the tunnel so to speak.
John has opened me up to something special and meaningful. I find comfort in knowing that every kiss to him is more than that, and every hug is filled with emotion and strength. Every second we spend together, I want to remember forever - its amazing. He is truely a gift for putting up with Ben for so long.
Im getting nervous because the thought of marriage keeps coming up in my family and at work. I know John and I arent going to jump into marriage tomorrow but I really wouldnt mind spending the rest of my life with him. We talk about it enough, and we call each other husband and wife. Its refreshing.
I do have a problem with his flirtation but I am trying my absolute hardest to see past it. He really doesnt flirt very much. I guess its just from that one night when his friend Maria called that really put a hole between my head and heart. I still dont think he fully understands how I felt when I had to sit there listening to it. But I do know hes sorry.
That day I felt nothing but sharp pain in my chest and stomach. Its like he skipped my heart and ripped my soul into shreds. I know its pretty intense to say but I've fallen for John hard. He knows that. He treats me like an angel. So at the second I feel insecure I break down. I'm working on it and hes helping me but more or less, Ben really fucked me up and now I have to learn how to start living again.
I'll have you know, John is the perfect beginning to a new life.
Thank you baby.
10.14.07