Say word?
It began during the figurative grieving period post-breakup. Was that a mistake in itself? Maybe, but you don't regret it one bit... had it been that one time only. Throw in an awkward and downright awful conversation about where it is headed and you're stuck feeling exactly how you felt before.
Eventually, you realize that amid the heat and the thrill of the unknown, it was a summer fling all along. Above all, you want to be loved. You weren't falling for him--you were falling for the idea that you can be loved and can love again, and that's okay. It's an epiphany, or so you tell yourself. It may not necessarily be him that allows you to fulfill this need, but knowing that you're not an icebox and that you're actually moving on from the heartbreak is rewarding enough. You can now stand above him and say, "Look, I don't need you to tell me how I should be. You don't get that control or satisfaction. You don't know me well enough to be the judge of anything, and frankly, we don't know each other well enough for me to start any sort of argument. There is no point. I am happy where I am, and I don't need to convince you of anything. You can go ahead and figure out what you want, but I am fine knowing that you are missing out."
Pat yourself on the back afterwards. Even though you know that you'll see him again, you are confident in the fact that you won the game you never knew you were playing.
Or, you know, you're kidding yourself.
Eventually, you realize that amid the heat and the thrill of the unknown, it was a summer fling all along. Above all, you want to be loved. You weren't falling for him--you were falling for the idea that you can be loved and can love again, and that's okay. It's an epiphany, or so you tell yourself. It may not necessarily be him that allows you to fulfill this need, but knowing that you're not an icebox and that you're actually moving on from the heartbreak is rewarding enough. You can now stand above him and say, "Look, I don't need you to tell me how I should be. You don't get that control or satisfaction. You don't know me well enough to be the judge of anything, and frankly, we don't know each other well enough for me to start any sort of argument. There is no point. I am happy where I am, and I don't need to convince you of anything. You can go ahead and figure out what you want, but I am fine knowing that you are missing out."
Pat yourself on the back afterwards. Even though you know that you'll see him again, you are confident in the fact that you won the game you never knew you were playing.
Or, you know, you're kidding yourself.