(no subject)
Okay this place is rather familiar and I think I have been here before.
this is not deja vu but and inevitable step back.
I feel rather discontent with life at this time.
Not by the fact that I am in Yuma again or bothered by my work or love life.
But by my social life. Its at a stand still and I'm not so sure how I got here. Perhaps its my fault for refusing to accept people and their idiotic habits. But who have I really lost? I know I lost a good friend.
But this I think was a mutual parting. I tried to make things work and ignore his "addiction" and his "justifications" for those "addictions", but I couldn't and he was unwilling to compromise and meet me halfway. So I have come to care less...and less. I have come to a point where I want to erase this person. He urks me and he doesnt know it. I dont bother to call and hang out. And the only time he calls me is to get a hold of Eddie. But what does bother me is that his "influences" are not good. He has Eddie and this whole deal and both of them are sitting on the same side of the fence when it comes to these "addictions" and their "justifications."
I have made my concerns apparent but have received no response.
and to be honest I feel like im being used for my bed.
As ridiculous as that may sound its true. Eddie stays out til 4am and wakes me...not purposely of course...and thinks its okay.
I'm not okay with that.
I blame Leo.
sure its unreasonable to place blame on him.
but thats how I feel.
I'd even go as far as saying I hate him.
Is that fair? Probably not.
So like i was saying I have been here before in different situations and different people. And to be honest i dont know whether to kick my self and make amends or discard it and find new friends else where.
Friends with out dirty habits and excuses.
this is not deja vu but and inevitable step back.
I feel rather discontent with life at this time.
Not by the fact that I am in Yuma again or bothered by my work or love life.
But by my social life. Its at a stand still and I'm not so sure how I got here. Perhaps its my fault for refusing to accept people and their idiotic habits. But who have I really lost? I know I lost a good friend.
But this I think was a mutual parting. I tried to make things work and ignore his "addiction" and his "justifications" for those "addictions", but I couldn't and he was unwilling to compromise and meet me halfway. So I have come to care less...and less. I have come to a point where I want to erase this person. He urks me and he doesnt know it. I dont bother to call and hang out. And the only time he calls me is to get a hold of Eddie. But what does bother me is that his "influences" are not good. He has Eddie and this whole deal and both of them are sitting on the same side of the fence when it comes to these "addictions" and their "justifications."
I have made my concerns apparent but have received no response.
and to be honest I feel like im being used for my bed.
As ridiculous as that may sound its true. Eddie stays out til 4am and wakes me...not purposely of course...and thinks its okay.
I'm not okay with that.
I blame Leo.
sure its unreasonable to place blame on him.
but thats how I feel.
I'd even go as far as saying I hate him.
Is that fair? Probably not.
So like i was saying I have been here before in different situations and different people. And to be honest i dont know whether to kick my self and make amends or discard it and find new friends else where.
Friends with out dirty habits and excuses.