(no subject)
the one i wish would just pay me some mind . . .maybe then I wouldnt cry . . . or maybe not for even with him my secret agent lover man would still never . . . he would never . .. but maybe. . . idk . . .i'm soo confused all I want is to love . .. .to be loved . .. . .and all alone I can not love myself so I sink into dispare and hurt more than anyone i've ever known .. . . . please let me find. . . . . him . .. . .my secret agent lover man . .. or my quinn . . I wish I felt something . . . with someone . . .but everyone I get near. . .it just feels weird .. well my secret agent lover man. . he makes me feel whole . . I miss him so.. .god I want to die . .. "I'm in the mouth of madness with a tongue of poetry I ate the spine of atlas now the world is crushing me . . .I hate my life" just let me die in this puddle of tears let me see past these fears let him know there is nothing left and let them find I failed the test . . the test of time the test of life . . .i need the blade I need the knife. . . ... god hates us all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!well
bye. . . .. .
desi