falling falling falling.... spinning out of control.
Gosh... I must write. I'm in a frenzy. I dont know what to do. Its like someone unplugged me and my spare batteries are slowly draining. I have so much yet I feel so empty. I dont feel happy in my own skin. I want out. I despise what I have become and even more what I fear I will become. I fear I'm spiraling down into a hole of scars, blood and pain. I fear I will be nothing to anyone, soon and I dont know how to stop myself. On the outside I'm all smiles and laughs. Inside I'm screaming. My body aches and my spirit is dying. I need a release. I need space and I need time. I need me time and I need to discover who I am and what I want to be. I'm so cooped up and everything is beginning to over flow. I need to feel needed but not smothered. I wish for people to see inside me and stop using me for themselves. I need time for me not for you. Leave me the fuck alone. I'm only one person, not twelve, no matter how much I care I cannot be everybody's superman. For once I am asking for a superman. Someone to catch me as I fall. I'm ready to fall into someone's arms. I need it. I dont want to keep this to myself like always. I want to cuddle in with someone and cry. Cry until I cant cry anymore. Then I want to scream until I lose my voice. Then I want to wallow in self pity. I need it. I'm always coming to everybody's rescue. Its time for me to be rescued...
Thats addressed to no one in particular although one guy fits the description of what I long for perfectly. I doubt that, that up there made any sense to any of you but thats okay. This is my journal, my life, me.
Thats addressed to no one in particular although one guy fits the description of what I long for perfectly. I doubt that, that up there made any sense to any of you but thats okay. This is my journal, my life, me.