Just another day.
Damn today is going by so slow. I just wish it would end already. Lets see um today I did nothing at all! I slept till 12:00, then I got up an went to the computer *computer= my life* how sad is that? Signed on msn, yahoo, an aim, again no big thrill there, checked my mail to see if you fine people sent me anything. Went downstairs an got me something to eat at about 2:30, Chicken an a hot pocket *yum*. Then listened to my grandmother tell me how I should drink some German Tea, an how that will cure my depression. Needless to say that was a waste of 15 minutes of my non eventful life. Then I got my phone calls an went back upstairs *an for all you people laughing that I live with my grandmother, well you can go fuck yourselves.* Anyway I talked to no one today except for some lady at CHI, That's my old school before they left me for dead because of my depression. An also Megan, she just called to tell me that she is going to work. An then there is me to scared to say anything to her, Don't really know what will piss her off anymore. But to be completely honest I'm happy that she called me, so that was the most eventful part of my day. Found out her one friend is staying the night with her tonight after she gets off work... Ha I wish it was me staying the night with her, sorry got caught up with the memories there.
Have any of you ever played neopets?? I have to say that even tho it's a kids site it helps me relax an kick back. So I find myself playing around on that site most the day, whenever I get done the other stuff I have to do Like calling Friends Hospital, an my Medical place I just like to kick back there an let loose. I also find that poems help me to express my feelings, although the one person I always made them for is no longer around. Honestly I loved the feeling that would come over me when I would read one to her weather it was over the phone or in person. Her face would light up an she would she me that awesome smile of hers, or if it was over the phone she would sound so sweet an say how much she loved it, an me. God I would do anything to get that back in my life. But how much more can you do when you're doing everything you can do already?
Today I heard a song that would go good for Megan an I. It gave me such hope for us, even more so then I already had. I was thinking about downloading it an calling her up so she could hear it. But I'm to scared as to what she will say. Well she reads my live-journal anyway so the name of the song is *Patience*. Well I hope that song helps, cause I don't know what else to do. I thought getting help would make everything better but sadly it did not, maybe it was due to the fact that I got help just a little to late. Or maybe the cold hard fact is that we were never meant to be together. I don't know how she is taking this but some days when I talk to her it just don't seem to be bothering her as much as it bothers me. I hurt inside an out, I'm in pain all the time, an she was the one person that made everything feel better. Weather it be by a hug, kiss, or a pat on the back, she made all my problems go away. Who knows maybe she is over me already, But I know for sure that I am not over her, an I will never be over her. Some people say I'm stupid for saying that but I don't think I am. There is something about her, ever since the day I first met her. But I believe still even to this day that she is my soul mate, an I'm not going to give up on us till I'm 100% sure that we were never meant to be.
Have any of you ever played neopets?? I have to say that even tho it's a kids site it helps me relax an kick back. So I find myself playing around on that site most the day, whenever I get done the other stuff I have to do Like calling Friends Hospital, an my Medical place I just like to kick back there an let loose. I also find that poems help me to express my feelings, although the one person I always made them for is no longer around. Honestly I loved the feeling that would come over me when I would read one to her weather it was over the phone or in person. Her face would light up an she would she me that awesome smile of hers, or if it was over the phone she would sound so sweet an say how much she loved it, an me. God I would do anything to get that back in my life. But how much more can you do when you're doing everything you can do already?
Today I heard a song that would go good for Megan an I. It gave me such hope for us, even more so then I already had. I was thinking about downloading it an calling her up so she could hear it. But I'm to scared as to what she will say. Well she reads my live-journal anyway so the name of the song is *Patience*. Well I hope that song helps, cause I don't know what else to do. I thought getting help would make everything better but sadly it did not, maybe it was due to the fact that I got help just a little to late. Or maybe the cold hard fact is that we were never meant to be together. I don't know how she is taking this but some days when I talk to her it just don't seem to be bothering her as much as it bothers me. I hurt inside an out, I'm in pain all the time, an she was the one person that made everything feel better. Weather it be by a hug, kiss, or a pat on the back, she made all my problems go away. Who knows maybe she is over me already, But I know for sure that I am not over her, an I will never be over her. Some people say I'm stupid for saying that but I don't think I am. There is something about her, ever since the day I first met her. But I believe still even to this day that she is my soul mate, an I'm not going to give up on us till I'm 100% sure that we were never meant to be.