(no subject)
i miss nate. i miss nate. i really really miss nate.
i hate that were apart and i hate even more that were on a 'break'. nate needed to work on some things in his life that he feels arent how they used to be. i have to respect that because i respect him and everything about him. he obviously doesn't feel good about himself so i'm not sure that i could be selfish with that. he loves me more than anything in this world & i love him also.
i tried being bitter today, it didnt really work. i cant. i mean i could if i really wanted to but that would require me to think things that aren't true about him or how he feels. i tried getting realizing that maybe this is good for us, and maybe it is? but i miss him more than anything now. and the night we broke up he was saying how maybe our parents will change in time. that sounded to me like, it'd be awhile before we got back together. but i'm not sure, i'm not sure about anything really. all i'm sure about is that i want him completely right within himself before he decides to call it again with me. don't get me wrong, i love him but i want him to love himself before me.
sometimes i wish that i couldn't be so understanding but more than anything i want to understand him. i can't wait til were completley happy. all couples go through things i just wish it wouldn't have lead to a breakup. But I understand that he needs to be alone. But I want him to know i'm always here for him. staying away, is hard as shit.
things can only go up from here. i've cried and i want to stop. i'm going to try and stay strong :) I know God knows that nate and i love eachother so much and all the things we have been through can't have been for nothing. I just know it.
i hate that were apart and i hate even more that were on a 'break'. nate needed to work on some things in his life that he feels arent how they used to be. i have to respect that because i respect him and everything about him. he obviously doesn't feel good about himself so i'm not sure that i could be selfish with that. he loves me more than anything in this world & i love him also.
i tried being bitter today, it didnt really work. i cant. i mean i could if i really wanted to but that would require me to think things that aren't true about him or how he feels. i tried getting realizing that maybe this is good for us, and maybe it is? but i miss him more than anything now. and the night we broke up he was saying how maybe our parents will change in time. that sounded to me like, it'd be awhile before we got back together. but i'm not sure, i'm not sure about anything really. all i'm sure about is that i want him completely right within himself before he decides to call it again with me. don't get me wrong, i love him but i want him to love himself before me.
sometimes i wish that i couldn't be so understanding but more than anything i want to understand him. i can't wait til were completley happy. all couples go through things i just wish it wouldn't have lead to a breakup. But I understand that he needs to be alone. But I want him to know i'm always here for him. staying away, is hard as shit.
things can only go up from here. i've cried and i want to stop. i'm going to try and stay strong :) I know God knows that nate and i love eachother so much and all the things we have been through can't have been for nothing. I just know it.