Hello, I'm Just A Fool Who's Willing To Sit Around And Wait For You
Shall we start with the good things? I think we shall.
1) Got Grease today! I've been dying to own it for so long. I just finished watching it with Dad so I'm in a tres good mood. And a singy mood.
2) Talking to Justin. Things are finally feeling normal again. We're even flirting a little. Which is odd, but it's okay because it feels natural. We're making plans for talking at school. I think I'm finally over him enough to do it. (Mind you, there still are some feelings, but that's understandable. But I don't want to be with him anymore. Friends, though, I want that a lot.)
harlequin girl says:
am i going to have to walk up to you and hit you to get you to talk?
Lynus // I'm so sick of love songs, so tired of tears , so done wit wishin u were still here says:
well if u did that i would probly cry so i dont think that ll work
ooh i know i'll poke you!
Lynus // I'm so sick of love songs, so tired of tears , so done wit wishin u were still here says:
and ill slap u lmao ahahaa jk
harlequin girl says:
and i'll bite you!
Lynus // I'm so sick of love songs, so tired of tears , so done wit wishin u were still here says:
where ??
Lynus // I'm so sick of love songs, so tired of tears , so done wit wishin u were still here says:
lol
harlequin girl says:
hmm, i'm partial to necks
Lynus // I'm so sick of love songs, so tired of tears , so done wit wishin u were still here says:
lol vampire
harlequin girl says:
you would know :P
I missed him so much... silly to think we let something like hormones come between such a good friendship. I really hope we'll be able to have some contact on Tuesday. It's been too long. I told him I missed him. He said he missed him, too. Sad that such an idiot means so much to me, haha.
3) Period is almost over.
4) Story time! This is the start of chapter two:
“Good morning!” I chirped, standing innocently at the door of Connor’s math class, the day after our encounter.
His head shot up at the sound of my voice- though I’m not too sure how he knew it so well, after all, we hadn’t been doing too much talking. Now, if he’d recognized the sound of my moan, that would make sense.
“What are you doing here?” he hissed.
“I transferred,” I said simply, holding out my form to the teacher.
He was frowning so hard his eyes were popping and his neck was bulging.
“You’ll get wrinkles,” I told him in a stage whisper.
“Sit down!” he roared
I scuttled to a seat beside Connor.
“Not there,” the teacher growled. “Behind him.”
I smirked. “My pleasure.”
Connor flushed.
The teacher began the lesson and I sat forward in my chair, nodding attentively, just to annoy him. He glared at me and reluctantly turned his back to write an equation on the board.
I tapped Connor on the shoulder.
“What?” he muttered, without moving.
“I have to go to the bathroom,” I whispered.
“So?”
“Meet me.”
He twisted around quickly. “What?”
I raised my hand. “Mister?”
The teacher turned, gritting his teeth. “James?”
“I have to pee!” I whined.
Titters filled the room.
“Out,” he snarled. “And don’t come back.”
“That’s okay,” I cast a meaningful l look at Connor, “I have other things to do.”
I left Connor staring blankly at his textbook, ears on fire. I hurried gleefully down the hall and bounded into the bathroom, settling myself cross-legged on the counter.
I didn’t have to wait long. Be it curiosity, be it lust (I couldn’t hope for more), he came.
“Hey, doll,” I purred, slipping off the counter and cozying up to him. I rested my head against his chest and hugged his waist tightly.
He sighed. “Hi, Jamie.”
“Now, now, don’t use that tone with me. You’re here. You obviously want me.” Didn’t he?
I felt him sigh again. “Maybe I just wanted out of math class.”
For some reason, I felt hurt. I guess I wanted him to want me.
“Less talking,” I ordered, pushing his back against the wall. “More kissing.”
My hand was on his back and I smiled at the way it arched when I pressed against him.
Suddenly my smile slid off my face. Pressing against him? Why was I doing that? Closeness wasn’t my thing. I kissed for the sake of kissing, not to get close to someone! Usually being close made me uncomfortable! But this felt so right... and my body was aching to be as close to him as possible.
The thought hit me like a wave and I chocked, going under fast. I tasted salt, too. Tears? Mine.
I ran, leaving Connor- leaving my heart.
***
I leaned against the gritty brick side of the school and took quick, short puffs on my cigarette. I huddled further into my black sweater, pulling my hood over my hair.
No, no, no. This could not be happening. Was I losing my mind? Was I high? Was I... actually having feelings for someone?
“Jamie?”
Shit.
“You okay?” He was beside me, he had his hands on my waist, his eyes were penetrating mine- my mouth could think of only one thing to do, and it wasn’t forming words.
“Do you always kiss when you can’t think of anything to say?” he asked gently, as I stopped to breathe.
“No...” I averted my eyes.
He sat down on the ground and pulled me into his lap like a child, and I lay my head back on his chest.
He put his mouth right by my ear and whispered, “You’re beautiful.”
I blinked. No one had ever said that to me before. Hot, sexy, gorgeous- I’d heard all of those. But never beautiful. Beautiful people didn’t end up in alleys.
He sighed at my lack of response. “This is a very shallow relationship,” he said practically.
“I’m a very shallow person.”
“Say what you like, but I don’t believe that.” He stroked my hair. “We’ve known each other two days.”
“Feels like longer.”
“I know.” I could hear him smiling. “But... well, I’ve known you two days and I know you well enough to tell when you’re lying.”
“No, you don’t.” He couldn’t. That was bad.
“Oh, yes, I do.” Now he was smirking.
“No!”
“Let’s test it.” Smirk, smirk, smirk. “Do you like me?”
“I like your lips,” I said stubbornly.
“Me, Jamie. Do you like me?”
“No.”
“Liar.”
He was getting too close for comfort. I turned my head, gave him a quick kiss on the lips, and then hightailed it out of there.
As if me being a liar was the worst of his problems.
5) Amanda is bi, and hot. (Okay, this isn't related, but yeah...) Also very much not a virgin. The stories I heard on Friday! And I did not know there were such things as finger condoms!!
6) This is bad and good. Bad, I was failing math. Good, Dad explained patiently everything we're doing and I finally get it. I was missing one little step. That's it. And now I'm fine. Yay!
Okay, is it time for the bad? This isn't in number form because there's only one bad thing. One very bad thing. I'll give you a hint. Involves Sebastian, Donald, and Freddy. Main points?
-Sebastian is out to ruin my life
-Donald either likes me or is not interested and doesn't want to hurt my feelings (depending on who's story you want to believe)
-Freddy possibly likes me, too (or likes me, period)
Yeah. Basically this is what went down Friday. It's complex, confusing and hard to explain. It all started at lunch when Donald was nowhere to be found. So after going on a long search with Freddy, we ended up back on the second floor and I was saying Donald was having a gay affair or something. And Sebastian goes, "He's not gay. Sorry, Jill" or something. So I'm just thinking whatever and me and Toni go watch Balderdash for a while. Then Seb sends Freddy to say he wants to talk to me. I don't want to talk to him, I hate him, so I tell Freddy no. Seb gives the message- if you don't, I'll tell
the guy you like you like him. Again, I'm thinking whatever. So I'm guessing he did it. And suddenly everything is in chaos. I barely remember most of it, I totally lost it. It was scary. Donald isn't talking to me, Nicole asked Freddy if he liked me and I swear he said yes, Seb is grinning and the girls want me to come talk. I hid in the bathroom like some moron. So I blow it all off. Skip the afternoon. And half way through first period, Tiff and Holly show up. Their version of the events? Donald likes me. Yet he also likes a girl named Jessica. But he likes me more, and he thinks I'm mad at him. So we wait till he gets out of gym and I go hug him and tell him I'm not mad... but it wasn't like our usual hugs. Nothing was there. It was nervous and weird. But then Seb arrives. I am beyond furious. I'm pretty sure I hit him, I don't remember. Tiff, Holly, Toni and I (with Donald following) chased him to the second floor. He hid in the bathroom. I swear, he was hiding from me in the bathroom. By then, there was a crowd waiting to see me beat him up. Which I probably would have. But he got some tall guy to protect him so he could walk out and then he ran off to math class! And Donald is in his class. He said something to Donald on the way. Donald walked past me without looking at me. That's basically the last contact we had. I caught Freddy after class and asked him what's going on. He said him and Donald thought I was mad at them. He said, after a lot of begging on my part, that Donald wasn't interested and didn't want to hurt my feelings. But. Isn't he slightly biased because I think he's interested? All and all is, I have no clue how Donald feels, a hunch about Freddy but nothing clear, and all I know is Sebastian is an ass. And the vice wants to see the convo where Seb threatened me. I have it printed and ready for Tuesday.
So that was my Friday. It sucked. But I'm not going to think about it till Tuesday. There's nothing I can do before that, anyway.
I'm going to watch Grease again!! (Don't ask why I'm in such a good mood. Believe me, I wasn't like this yesterday. I cried because some of the algebra I was doing had D's as the variables. Yup. I'm that pathetic. But with mood swings- well, I'm up right now!) Night, all!
1) Got Grease today! I've been dying to own it for so long. I just finished watching it with Dad so I'm in a tres good mood. And a singy mood.
2) Talking to Justin. Things are finally feeling normal again. We're even flirting a little. Which is odd, but it's okay because it feels natural. We're making plans for talking at school. I think I'm finally over him enough to do it. (Mind you, there still are some feelings, but that's understandable. But I don't want to be with him anymore. Friends, though, I want that a lot.)
harlequin girl says:
am i going to have to walk up to you and hit you to get you to talk?
Lynus // I'm so sick of love songs, so tired of tears , so done wit wishin u were still here says:
well if u did that i would probly cry so i dont think that ll work
ooh i know i'll poke you!
Lynus // I'm so sick of love songs, so tired of tears , so done wit wishin u were still here says:
and ill slap u lmao ahahaa jk
harlequin girl says:
and i'll bite you!
Lynus // I'm so sick of love songs, so tired of tears , so done wit wishin u were still here says:
where ??
Lynus // I'm so sick of love songs, so tired of tears , so done wit wishin u were still here says:
lol
harlequin girl says:
hmm, i'm partial to necks
Lynus // I'm so sick of love songs, so tired of tears , so done wit wishin u were still here says:
lol vampire
harlequin girl says:
you would know :P
I missed him so much... silly to think we let something like hormones come between such a good friendship. I really hope we'll be able to have some contact on Tuesday. It's been too long. I told him I missed him. He said he missed him, too. Sad that such an idiot means so much to me, haha.
3) Period is almost over.
4) Story time! This is the start of chapter two:
“Good morning!” I chirped, standing innocently at the door of Connor’s math class, the day after our encounter.
His head shot up at the sound of my voice- though I’m not too sure how he knew it so well, after all, we hadn’t been doing too much talking. Now, if he’d recognized the sound of my moan, that would make sense.
“What are you doing here?” he hissed.
“I transferred,” I said simply, holding out my form to the teacher.
He was frowning so hard his eyes were popping and his neck was bulging.
“You’ll get wrinkles,” I told him in a stage whisper.
“Sit down!” he roared
I scuttled to a seat beside Connor.
“Not there,” the teacher growled. “Behind him.”
I smirked. “My pleasure.”
Connor flushed.
The teacher began the lesson and I sat forward in my chair, nodding attentively, just to annoy him. He glared at me and reluctantly turned his back to write an equation on the board.
I tapped Connor on the shoulder.
“What?” he muttered, without moving.
“I have to go to the bathroom,” I whispered.
“So?”
“Meet me.”
He twisted around quickly. “What?”
I raised my hand. “Mister?”
The teacher turned, gritting his teeth. “James?”
“I have to pee!” I whined.
Titters filled the room.
“Out,” he snarled. “And don’t come back.”
“That’s okay,” I cast a meaningful l look at Connor, “I have other things to do.”
I left Connor staring blankly at his textbook, ears on fire. I hurried gleefully down the hall and bounded into the bathroom, settling myself cross-legged on the counter.
I didn’t have to wait long. Be it curiosity, be it lust (I couldn’t hope for more), he came.
“Hey, doll,” I purred, slipping off the counter and cozying up to him. I rested my head against his chest and hugged his waist tightly.
He sighed. “Hi, Jamie.”
“Now, now, don’t use that tone with me. You’re here. You obviously want me.” Didn’t he?
I felt him sigh again. “Maybe I just wanted out of math class.”
For some reason, I felt hurt. I guess I wanted him to want me.
“Less talking,” I ordered, pushing his back against the wall. “More kissing.”
My hand was on his back and I smiled at the way it arched when I pressed against him.
Suddenly my smile slid off my face. Pressing against him? Why was I doing that? Closeness wasn’t my thing. I kissed for the sake of kissing, not to get close to someone! Usually being close made me uncomfortable! But this felt so right... and my body was aching to be as close to him as possible.
The thought hit me like a wave and I chocked, going under fast. I tasted salt, too. Tears? Mine.
I ran, leaving Connor- leaving my heart.
***
I leaned against the gritty brick side of the school and took quick, short puffs on my cigarette. I huddled further into my black sweater, pulling my hood over my hair.
No, no, no. This could not be happening. Was I losing my mind? Was I high? Was I... actually having feelings for someone?
“Jamie?”
Shit.
“You okay?” He was beside me, he had his hands on my waist, his eyes were penetrating mine- my mouth could think of only one thing to do, and it wasn’t forming words.
“Do you always kiss when you can’t think of anything to say?” he asked gently, as I stopped to breathe.
“No...” I averted my eyes.
He sat down on the ground and pulled me into his lap like a child, and I lay my head back on his chest.
He put his mouth right by my ear and whispered, “You’re beautiful.”
I blinked. No one had ever said that to me before. Hot, sexy, gorgeous- I’d heard all of those. But never beautiful. Beautiful people didn’t end up in alleys.
He sighed at my lack of response. “This is a very shallow relationship,” he said practically.
“I’m a very shallow person.”
“Say what you like, but I don’t believe that.” He stroked my hair. “We’ve known each other two days.”
“Feels like longer.”
“I know.” I could hear him smiling. “But... well, I’ve known you two days and I know you well enough to tell when you’re lying.”
“No, you don’t.” He couldn’t. That was bad.
“Oh, yes, I do.” Now he was smirking.
“No!”
“Let’s test it.” Smirk, smirk, smirk. “Do you like me?”
“I like your lips,” I said stubbornly.
“Me, Jamie. Do you like me?”
“No.”
“Liar.”
He was getting too close for comfort. I turned my head, gave him a quick kiss on the lips, and then hightailed it out of there.
As if me being a liar was the worst of his problems.
5) Amanda is bi, and hot. (Okay, this isn't related, but yeah...) Also very much not a virgin. The stories I heard on Friday! And I did not know there were such things as finger condoms!!
6) This is bad and good. Bad, I was failing math. Good, Dad explained patiently everything we're doing and I finally get it. I was missing one little step. That's it. And now I'm fine. Yay!
Okay, is it time for the bad? This isn't in number form because there's only one bad thing. One very bad thing. I'll give you a hint. Involves Sebastian, Donald, and Freddy. Main points?
-Sebastian is out to ruin my life
-Donald either likes me or is not interested and doesn't want to hurt my feelings (depending on who's story you want to believe)
-Freddy possibly likes me, too (or likes me, period)
Yeah. Basically this is what went down Friday. It's complex, confusing and hard to explain. It all started at lunch when Donald was nowhere to be found. So after going on a long search with Freddy, we ended up back on the second floor and I was saying Donald was having a gay affair or something. And Sebastian goes, "He's not gay. Sorry, Jill" or something. So I'm just thinking whatever and me and Toni go watch Balderdash for a while. Then Seb sends Freddy to say he wants to talk to me. I don't want to talk to him, I hate him, so I tell Freddy no. Seb gives the message- if you don't, I'll tell
the guy you like you like him. Again, I'm thinking whatever. So I'm guessing he did it. And suddenly everything is in chaos. I barely remember most of it, I totally lost it. It was scary. Donald isn't talking to me, Nicole asked Freddy if he liked me and I swear he said yes, Seb is grinning and the girls want me to come talk. I hid in the bathroom like some moron. So I blow it all off. Skip the afternoon. And half way through first period, Tiff and Holly show up. Their version of the events? Donald likes me. Yet he also likes a girl named Jessica. But he likes me more, and he thinks I'm mad at him. So we wait till he gets out of gym and I go hug him and tell him I'm not mad... but it wasn't like our usual hugs. Nothing was there. It was nervous and weird. But then Seb arrives. I am beyond furious. I'm pretty sure I hit him, I don't remember. Tiff, Holly, Toni and I (with Donald following) chased him to the second floor. He hid in the bathroom. I swear, he was hiding from me in the bathroom. By then, there was a crowd waiting to see me beat him up. Which I probably would have. But he got some tall guy to protect him so he could walk out and then he ran off to math class! And Donald is in his class. He said something to Donald on the way. Donald walked past me without looking at me. That's basically the last contact we had. I caught Freddy after class and asked him what's going on. He said him and Donald thought I was mad at them. He said, after a lot of begging on my part, that Donald wasn't interested and didn't want to hurt my feelings. But. Isn't he slightly biased because I think he's interested? All and all is, I have no clue how Donald feels, a hunch about Freddy but nothing clear, and all I know is Sebastian is an ass. And the vice wants to see the convo where Seb threatened me. I have it printed and ready for Tuesday.
So that was my Friday. It sucked. But I'm not going to think about it till Tuesday. There's nothing I can do before that, anyway.
I'm going to watch Grease again!! (Don't ask why I'm in such a good mood. Believe me, I wasn't like this yesterday. I cried because some of the algebra I was doing had D's as the variables. Yup. I'm that pathetic. But with mood swings- well, I'm up right now!) Night, all!