But What Hppens When Karma Turns Right Around And Bites You?

Feb 20, 2006 19:35

I am one happy little girl. I've got my new camera!! Daddy got it for me after school. He also got me three shirts (black one that says "keep him" and has a boy in a jail cell, blue one that says "I'm over your issues, can I unsubscribe?" and a gray one with a heart that says "you break it, you buy it") but I might have to exchange them for a different size because for mediums, they're really small. But the larges might be too big. I'm going to try them on again later. Anyway, I love my camera. It's so much fun. I've been taking lots of picture of myself, heehee.

Today was pretty standard. Classes were boring. Except music. Jason came back, yay! I missed him. I was busy though, haven't had a chance to hug him yet. (Crush is off, though. Just friends now.) As for hugs...

God help me, Donald isn't just one of my rebound obsessions. Yes, I'll admit it. I have a crush on him. And I really didn't expect this to happen, but you can't prevent chemisty, right? Don't worry, I'm going to take it slow, I'm not going to jump into a relationship again. (As much as I really really want to.) But I have been flirting. A lot. Toni left to go get her stuff at lunch and I was with him and Freddy (because I didn't want to leave, haha) and I was jumping up and down so Freddy grabbed my arms to hold me still. And of course, being me, I hugged him. (He's a good hugger, too. But there are no feelings what so ever with him. I'm actually serious for once. He's a great buddy, though.) And then Donald looked lonely (no, he didn't, but that's what I told myself) so I hugged him. And then for the next ten minutes I just stayed there with my head on his shoulder smiling with him holding my waist. It was nice... nobody's held me like that since Justin. (And even though it sounds like it, I mean it when I say I'm not just trying to replace him.)

Danny doesn't think it's any different. He says I always say this about every single guy that ends up meaning nothing to me a week later. And maybe he's right. I'm hoping he's wrong. I'm betting he's right. And I'm just trying to figure out what the heck has gone wrong with me because I used to fall in love not act like a slut and now even I can barely keep track of who's arms I want to be in... it's insanity. What the hell. I don't want this. This is so not what I need right now. I'm behind in my classes, I'm totally stressed out, and I have way too much to do this week. I do NOT need a guy thrown into the mix. (Ooh, but he hugs so well... ugh, shut up, mind.)

I'm feeling confused again. I don't know what I want. Actually, I do. What I want is to run away and stay away for a really long time. But I can't. So I'm going to do the next best thing. Run off to my room with chocolate, a notebook, and my lovely MP3 player. And my camera, of course.

I wish I could stay in my room all day tomorrow. Things are only going to get harder.
Previous post Next post
Up