(no subject)
Katie couldn't have been much further from the truth when she said, "I don't think going to the psychologist has done anything." So far, nothing has happened except for him giving me some papers to fill so he can have help at understanding me some more, and of course, also giving him money. I'm guessing that later on, when he knows me enough, he'll provide some therapy to me to help me get over these things that bother me. But so far, all he's done was tell me to eat a wide spectrum of foods, more than 3 times a day, and how to breathe deep for about a minute, and then regularly for about 4 more minutes, a relaxation technique.
She thinks he hasn't done anything for me because I still haven't changed my mind about children. I guess the one thing we can't find common ground on is marriage and children. She wants both; I don't, but I've reached a compromise, which she disagrees on: we both can be part of a Big Brother-like program. I find that to be great, since we can have our child fix and spoil the shit out of someone else's kids before handing them back over to the parents and let them deal with stuff that people wouldn't want to deal with regarding children.
She doesn't like that plan because they're not her children; I like it for that same reason. Things look pretty bleak for this relationship and it's only a matter of time before she throws her arms up and calls it quits for that reason. I hope it's not anytime soon, as I need her to help me from having a nervous breakdown. I don't think I'm an asshole for using her like this; my reasons are justifiable. Using someone to live in their house or drive their car makes you a skank, regardless of gender; using someone to keep you alive, mentally stable, and to prevent you from becoming a hateful racist, is merely a survival tactic. Without Katie, I'd probably be lost at this point in my life. She was right when she said that my operation was probably the first step of something bigger, and I don't like thinking of what else I would've done if I never met her back in 2006.
Ah, now I remember what caused her to say what she said in the first place: a couple nights ago she complained about how I was spending most of my time playing Star Ocean 3 and going to the gym. Lately I've been annoyed on how she wants to go somewhere and makes me the person to plan the road trip, when I'm content with staying inside, so I've withdrawn myself a little bit so she can make these plans on her own. I told her I'm fine with staying inside, that going out places is over-rated. "At least I still want to explore the outside world!" she exclaimed. My response: "it's because I've seen the outside world that I want to stay inside." And that's when she concluded that my doctor isn't doing anything for me. I guess she was hoping that I would turn into a sperm donor + husband who didn't care what people thought. As much as I wouldn't mind becoming the latter, I don't think that'll ever happen. It's been hard wired into my brain to think about others' thoughts.
She thinks he hasn't done anything for me because I still haven't changed my mind about children. I guess the one thing we can't find common ground on is marriage and children. She wants both; I don't, but I've reached a compromise, which she disagrees on: we both can be part of a Big Brother-like program. I find that to be great, since we can have our child fix and spoil the shit out of someone else's kids before handing them back over to the parents and let them deal with stuff that people wouldn't want to deal with regarding children.
She doesn't like that plan because they're not her children; I like it for that same reason. Things look pretty bleak for this relationship and it's only a matter of time before she throws her arms up and calls it quits for that reason. I hope it's not anytime soon, as I need her to help me from having a nervous breakdown. I don't think I'm an asshole for using her like this; my reasons are justifiable. Using someone to live in their house or drive their car makes you a skank, regardless of gender; using someone to keep you alive, mentally stable, and to prevent you from becoming a hateful racist, is merely a survival tactic. Without Katie, I'd probably be lost at this point in my life. She was right when she said that my operation was probably the first step of something bigger, and I don't like thinking of what else I would've done if I never met her back in 2006.
Ah, now I remember what caused her to say what she said in the first place: a couple nights ago she complained about how I was spending most of my time playing Star Ocean 3 and going to the gym. Lately I've been annoyed on how she wants to go somewhere and makes me the person to plan the road trip, when I'm content with staying inside, so I've withdrawn myself a little bit so she can make these plans on her own. I told her I'm fine with staying inside, that going out places is over-rated. "At least I still want to explore the outside world!" she exclaimed. My response: "it's because I've seen the outside world that I want to stay inside." And that's when she concluded that my doctor isn't doing anything for me. I guess she was hoping that I would turn into a sperm donor + husband who didn't care what people thought. As much as I wouldn't mind becoming the latter, I don't think that'll ever happen. It's been hard wired into my brain to think about others' thoughts.