(no subject)
So, I'm drinknin right now.
I havent gotten drunk and written in awhile.
I've noticed a few things... similarities.... no ones else might understand them.. but i do.
I used to love people.
Now, I dont.
Yesterday, I was watching someone look thru my portfolio like i always do, at least 5 times a day, every day.
And then it dawned on me.
People judge me everyday right in front of me.
Yes, I put it on display........ and i knew that when i started this... but i never thought of it the way i did then.
Watching there faces..... they all change with every picture.
But then they look at me.
Judging......
And i really dont think i like it.
Yea... everyone always compliments my work.... but they are still judging.
I don't like that.
Nothing i can really do about it... but it still bothers me.
What else bothers me.......
Women!
Women bother me.
I'm so sick of ........
"You're so cute"... blah blah blah.. followed byt the same old pick up lines.
The blushing faces.
The eyelash batting.
The "What are you doin Fri night?"
Sure, yea..... it's a compliment... and I thank my momma for makin me so beautiful.... but come on now.
After a few years... it gets old....
Not that I want it to stop..... i enjoy it...
It makes me blush...
But sometimes.... people go to far with it and its offensive.
Hold on.. .time for another shot.
alright... back.
So yea.
Blah....
when i went back to Detroit, MI. after leaving everything behind for my ex to have in Madison, WI.......
My mother looked at me and said one thing that I'll never forget.
"You're too loving anf trusting."
I never really understood that until recently.
With every girl I've ever been with that I truely, honestly, loved and cared about....
I sacraficed everything i could for them.
I look back at the ex;s I've had and the ones i've really loved.... and I have sacraficed alot for them.
yea.. .i know.. im bitching..... and yes, its all my choice....... but still.
I dojnt even know where im goin with this.............
..
.
.
.
.
. balh.... change the subject.
Heather said she quit her job for me...
What the fuck is that?
A scapegoat move?
Everyone that knows me.... knows that I don't like a woman that doesnt work.
And she knew id be upset if she quit her job.
We got into arguments about it for 3 weeks.
then she quit.
Then she told me she quit for me.
How the fuck does that make sense?
IDK...
Shot...
shot...
bottle gone.
Ok... so i just got off the phone with Megan, and vented more the most of what i wanted to write, and now it's gone.......
so...
Moral of the story.....
I have no clue.
I love Heather.
My job often depresses me.
And i Gusess I'm alright.
Later.
~Deuce
I havent gotten drunk and written in awhile.
I've noticed a few things... similarities.... no ones else might understand them.. but i do.
I used to love people.
Now, I dont.
Yesterday, I was watching someone look thru my portfolio like i always do, at least 5 times a day, every day.
And then it dawned on me.
People judge me everyday right in front of me.
Yes, I put it on display........ and i knew that when i started this... but i never thought of it the way i did then.
Watching there faces..... they all change with every picture.
But then they look at me.
Judging......
And i really dont think i like it.
Yea... everyone always compliments my work.... but they are still judging.
I don't like that.
Nothing i can really do about it... but it still bothers me.
What else bothers me.......
Women!
Women bother me.
I'm so sick of ........
"You're so cute"... blah blah blah.. followed byt the same old pick up lines.
The blushing faces.
The eyelash batting.
The "What are you doin Fri night?"
Sure, yea..... it's a compliment... and I thank my momma for makin me so beautiful.... but come on now.
After a few years... it gets old....
Not that I want it to stop..... i enjoy it...
It makes me blush...
But sometimes.... people go to far with it and its offensive.
Hold on.. .time for another shot.
alright... back.
So yea.
Blah....
when i went back to Detroit, MI. after leaving everything behind for my ex to have in Madison, WI.......
My mother looked at me and said one thing that I'll never forget.
"You're too loving anf trusting."
I never really understood that until recently.
With every girl I've ever been with that I truely, honestly, loved and cared about....
I sacraficed everything i could for them.
I look back at the ex;s I've had and the ones i've really loved.... and I have sacraficed alot for them.
yea.. .i know.. im bitching..... and yes, its all my choice....... but still.
I dojnt even know where im goin with this.............
..
.
.
.
.
. balh.... change the subject.
Heather said she quit her job for me...
What the fuck is that?
A scapegoat move?
Everyone that knows me.... knows that I don't like a woman that doesnt work.
And she knew id be upset if she quit her job.
We got into arguments about it for 3 weeks.
then she quit.
Then she told me she quit for me.
How the fuck does that make sense?
IDK...
Shot...
shot...
bottle gone.
Ok... so i just got off the phone with Megan, and vented more the most of what i wanted to write, and now it's gone.......
so...
Moral of the story.....
I have no clue.
I love Heather.
My job often depresses me.
And i Gusess I'm alright.
Later.
~Deuce