A Series of Compelling Thoughts
i figured that im gonna put a real good update on here... well probably not good, but at least more interesting then the last 5. well... here it goes...i dont understand myself, im such an odd person... (( im on the topic of relationships by the way ))... when i like someone .. i have such a hard time showing it, and i dont understand why, its like such a first grade type scenario here.. anyone i ever felt something for im always pushing away. its so easy for me to be with guys i dont really like, but when it comes to the ones i do, i dont show my feelings at all. i have feelings for someone... well some people. theres a couple of guys that have been on my mind lately, and the thing is, i always rule out all the reasons to be with these people.. and im left alone. and i think the biggest problem that i have is that none of these guys have any idea i have feelings for them. =( ... i know its such a sad concept..im always complaining about being single, but the real problem is me. i mean im happy that im smart enough to come to this conclusion. but i still have found no way to fix it. im intimidated by my feelings and im so afraid of rejection, that i think its better off to isolate myself from a potential fling so that i can just remain frozen and content without anyone to hurt me.its like the one thing that i want more than anything ... im too afraid to open myself up to. the best thing in the world for me would be to settle down with someone that i really care about, but i cant bring myself out of my little protective shell that ive built around myself. love and life << two very confusing concepts..