Gotta love the 80's
I'm sitting here listening to some early 80's music.. it's funny..
I am still sitting here, 'stuck in the past' I guess... thinking about all the 'friends' I used to have, all the fun I used to have.. I thought life sucked then.. now I realize those were really probably the best days of my life.. no financial worries, no having to commit to anything.. I could sit around all day and not feel guilty about it, or I could go out all night and not feel guilty about it... I just feel like I want to cry right about now..
This is not where I wanted to be at this point in my life.. I wanted one of 2 things to be going on right now.. 1.) having a kid/getting married/being financially stable or 2.) being single, going to clubs, finishing college, finding a 'real' job...
Yeah, I know, these 2 things are so far apart it's crazy, but that is just me... I don't want to be in the middle, you know? I wanted it to be one or the other.. too bad I guess...
I think I am just sad cause I never got to go away to college and meet new people... stay out all night and go to class on no sleep... hooking up with some random guy at a frat party...
or
Get a place on my own, all by myself... not worrying about when I come home, if I come home.. having people over when I want.. or having a room mate, maybe one of my friends from high school or something.. I don't know.. anything...
If I could go back in time I would tell myself to apply to colleges while I was finishing my senior year, don't take a year off school, you won't go back if you do... you don't have to have a boyfriend at all times, enjoy being single... pack your car up and take a trip cross country, even if you can't afford it...
Is it normal to feel this way? Why do I feel this way? Chuckie takes care of me, and I love him.. why is nothing ever good enough? If anyone has any thoughts on this, please leave a note.. I need someone to tell me if I am crazy or not.. I need reassurance that I am not the only one who has felt this way...
I am still sitting here, 'stuck in the past' I guess... thinking about all the 'friends' I used to have, all the fun I used to have.. I thought life sucked then.. now I realize those were really probably the best days of my life.. no financial worries, no having to commit to anything.. I could sit around all day and not feel guilty about it, or I could go out all night and not feel guilty about it... I just feel like I want to cry right about now..
This is not where I wanted to be at this point in my life.. I wanted one of 2 things to be going on right now.. 1.) having a kid/getting married/being financially stable or 2.) being single, going to clubs, finishing college, finding a 'real' job...
Yeah, I know, these 2 things are so far apart it's crazy, but that is just me... I don't want to be in the middle, you know? I wanted it to be one or the other.. too bad I guess...
I think I am just sad cause I never got to go away to college and meet new people... stay out all night and go to class on no sleep... hooking up with some random guy at a frat party...
or
Get a place on my own, all by myself... not worrying about when I come home, if I come home.. having people over when I want.. or having a room mate, maybe one of my friends from high school or something.. I don't know.. anything...
If I could go back in time I would tell myself to apply to colleges while I was finishing my senior year, don't take a year off school, you won't go back if you do... you don't have to have a boyfriend at all times, enjoy being single... pack your car up and take a trip cross country, even if you can't afford it...
Is it normal to feel this way? Why do I feel this way? Chuckie takes care of me, and I love him.. why is nothing ever good enough? If anyone has any thoughts on this, please leave a note.. I need someone to tell me if I am crazy or not.. I need reassurance that I am not the only one who has felt this way...