it is 9:57pm...do you know where your sanity is?

[xxnightfiendxx]

I wish I could stop thinking of him. I can't help it. Every time I close my eyes I feel him. It's the most horrid, yet most beautiful feeling I have ever experienced in my entire life. I'm actually thinking now. This isn't blind like everything else was. I've thought things over, I've weighed the consequences, and I am ready to endure whatever it will take to get this to work. I don't give a damn for what anyone says anymore. I am going to pursue this.
I shall see if I can get a ride over there tonight. Please please please let this work.
I keep hearing a noise like my cell phone is ringing, but I don't feel like getting up to check. I'm all relaxed now cuz I just got outta the shower. Before that I went on my exercise bike for a half hour, and felt absolutely wonderful. I'm still kinda depressed, but oh well. Things aren't gonna change, now are they?
I started taking my paxil again today. Good news: I won't be depressed and freaking out all over the place. Bad news: I'll be tired as fuck ALL THE TIME. So...feel sluggish due to side effects or feel sluggish due to sadness? It's yer call...
Well...damn...what time is it...almost 10...hm. I think I'll call some people with cars around midnight and see where things go, and where I may go. I must do this.
Like my sanity at the moment...I'm leaving.

-Spaz-