"Open Up" things I don't have the guts to say...(part 1)
I would first like to thank Yisu for inspiring me to write this.
Each number is addressed to a different person. Some are people I know on lj or myspace.
1.You are a demon that haunts my dreams. I know that it was partly my fault for what happened, but you just went too far. I can see at times how you can be a great friend and listener, but let's be honest, you're no fucking angel. I hate it that you flit with my good friends and get away with it. I hate that only I know the true evil that is lies inside that shell, for I hold a similar evil. Lust is your only passion and it HAS TO STOP! You make me sick every time I see you kiss or hug her while she is oblivious to your real actions. And what I hate most is that I can't do a damn thing about what you do to them. I'm not strong enough, and I'm not the one that can tell you to "stop" this time.
2. You were once a good friend. We could talk for hours about books and the guys that we had crushes on, but now you are changing. And when you treat my other friends like shit, I'm not going to let myself be sucked into the same hole or put up with it. You need to grow up and stop acting like such a bitch. Your period has noting to do with you just "feeling like it". I feel no sorrow knowing that you are moving away in a few weeks. I frankly don't give a damn.
3. I love you. That's never going to change. You have gaven me feelings a year ago that I've never had before. And even though I have moved on, my heart still flutters every time you kiss my cheek which, in a way, I deeply hate. I know you never mean to, but you need to stop being such a damn push over and pay more attention to your true friends. I am happy, however, that you have proven to me that you trust me utterly. You are a sweetheart who, no matter how much you try, can't really hurt someone on purpose. I just wish you would call or talk to me every once in a while. If you don't make a move, I will gladly move away from our friendship.
4. You are the closest person to me. If I was to really need to call someone my best friend, it would be you. Yet, I wish you would tell me the truth. I hate the feeling that you are trying to deceive me, but how can I believe in some of the such claims that you have given? Please don't lecture me on my emptiness, where you have little to say in. And I hate it when you call me emo, when I am clearly depressed and need someone to talk to me and listen to my emotions, not someone to nag me. It is actions like that that push me to become even colder and more distant. I miss seeing you and your hyperness. That is the energy that keeps me going on.
5. You are the sweetest and the most intelligent guy I have ever met. I am sorry that things didn't go anywhere, but at least we tried and who knows what two years can bring. I do hate the fact that I am too much of a coward to call and talk to you, for I miss our random conversations. You see me for who I am and take me as me. I thank you so much for that. Because of you, I have a lot of new friends who are much more intelligent than me and I love it. I wish you happiness and you to find someone that is perfect for you.
6. Why is it you hate me so? I look at old photos I have of you and wish only that our relationship was still the same as it was back then. Was it something I did? Was it something someone said? I hate it when you ignore me and the fact that when you aren't you say something cruel. It's true that I still like you a little, no matter how much of an ass you can be. I believe the only reason why is that I can't stop thinking about the sweet funny guy you were when we were younger.
7. You are a stream of sunshine in my darkness. You can be a little over emotional at times, but you are an overall good friend. You are one of my closest friends who I actually wouldn't mind being my best friend. I am so jealous of your figure, your tan, and your golden eyes. You are so beautiful and talented, I hate it when you put yourself down. Such negative energy hurts me in more than one way. I want you to be more open and carefree, but what I really want more is you to be proud of your appearance and not be afraid of showing it off. I love you!
Each number is addressed to a different person. Some are people I know on lj or myspace.
1.You are a demon that haunts my dreams. I know that it was partly my fault for what happened, but you just went too far. I can see at times how you can be a great friend and listener, but let's be honest, you're no fucking angel. I hate it that you flit with my good friends and get away with it. I hate that only I know the true evil that is lies inside that shell, for I hold a similar evil. Lust is your only passion and it HAS TO STOP! You make me sick every time I see you kiss or hug her while she is oblivious to your real actions. And what I hate most is that I can't do a damn thing about what you do to them. I'm not strong enough, and I'm not the one that can tell you to "stop" this time.
2. You were once a good friend. We could talk for hours about books and the guys that we had crushes on, but now you are changing. And when you treat my other friends like shit, I'm not going to let myself be sucked into the same hole or put up with it. You need to grow up and stop acting like such a bitch. Your period has noting to do with you just "feeling like it". I feel no sorrow knowing that you are moving away in a few weeks. I frankly don't give a damn.
3. I love you. That's never going to change. You have gaven me feelings a year ago that I've never had before. And even though I have moved on, my heart still flutters every time you kiss my cheek which, in a way, I deeply hate. I know you never mean to, but you need to stop being such a damn push over and pay more attention to your true friends. I am happy, however, that you have proven to me that you trust me utterly. You are a sweetheart who, no matter how much you try, can't really hurt someone on purpose. I just wish you would call or talk to me every once in a while. If you don't make a move, I will gladly move away from our friendship.
4. You are the closest person to me. If I was to really need to call someone my best friend, it would be you. Yet, I wish you would tell me the truth. I hate the feeling that you are trying to deceive me, but how can I believe in some of the such claims that you have given? Please don't lecture me on my emptiness, where you have little to say in. And I hate it when you call me emo, when I am clearly depressed and need someone to talk to me and listen to my emotions, not someone to nag me. It is actions like that that push me to become even colder and more distant. I miss seeing you and your hyperness. That is the energy that keeps me going on.
5. You are the sweetest and the most intelligent guy I have ever met. I am sorry that things didn't go anywhere, but at least we tried and who knows what two years can bring. I do hate the fact that I am too much of a coward to call and talk to you, for I miss our random conversations. You see me for who I am and take me as me. I thank you so much for that. Because of you, I have a lot of new friends who are much more intelligent than me and I love it. I wish you happiness and you to find someone that is perfect for you.
6. Why is it you hate me so? I look at old photos I have of you and wish only that our relationship was still the same as it was back then. Was it something I did? Was it something someone said? I hate it when you ignore me and the fact that when you aren't you say something cruel. It's true that I still like you a little, no matter how much of an ass you can be. I believe the only reason why is that I can't stop thinking about the sweet funny guy you were when we were younger.
7. You are a stream of sunshine in my darkness. You can be a little over emotional at times, but you are an overall good friend. You are one of my closest friends who I actually wouldn't mind being my best friend. I am so jealous of your figure, your tan, and your golden eyes. You are so beautiful and talented, I hate it when you put yourself down. Such negative energy hurts me in more than one way. I want you to be more open and carefree, but what I really want more is you to be proud of your appearance and not be afraid of showing it off. I love you!