New day, more in debt.
Well Enrique and I had sorted things out. I don't know what it is that we are lacking in our relationship, but it sometimes becomes unbareable. Sometimes I expect a lot of him. Sometimes I wish we had a better way of communicating. I wish sometimes I had the feelings back that I once had. I don't understand why he would hurt me over and over and over and say I'm sorry once in a while and expect everything to be okay again. Little by little into the relationship, my heart slowly built up a wall. Now that he is trying to be a Fred Flintstone and trying to chip away the pieces to have all of me. That takes time and that time will come when I feel ready.
Lately I've been sleeping horribly. If I go to sleep around 10pm I'll wake up at 4 and then some how fall asleep at 6 and sleep to about 9 and I don't know what is wrong with me. *Sigh* Oh well. Someday maybe I'll fix my sleeping patterns. Especially once I get back to school.
As far as school goes, I don't know what the hell I want to do with my life. It seems as if I don't know what the hell I want. I wish things would work out for me. Everything I have chosen or was interested in mother or nina would have something negative to say about it. I was really interested in training marine life animals, what did they have to say about that? "When you see that huge dolphin or killer whale you will scream and God forbid it eats you." So depressing. I was so into it at the time.. I wanted to be a vet and then I saw animal planets shows, that went through the window. I wanted to be a lawyer, but I am afraid of not being able to fight as well as other lawyers. Some laws may escape me and I don't want to depend on something that isn't worth anything and base my whole defense or whatever on it.
Lately I've been sleeping horribly. If I go to sleep around 10pm I'll wake up at 4 and then some how fall asleep at 6 and sleep to about 9 and I don't know what is wrong with me. *Sigh* Oh well. Someday maybe I'll fix my sleeping patterns. Especially once I get back to school.
As far as school goes, I don't know what the hell I want to do with my life. It seems as if I don't know what the hell I want. I wish things would work out for me. Everything I have chosen or was interested in mother or nina would have something negative to say about it. I was really interested in training marine life animals, what did they have to say about that? "When you see that huge dolphin or killer whale you will scream and God forbid it eats you." So depressing. I was so into it at the time.. I wanted to be a vet and then I saw animal planets shows, that went through the window. I wanted to be a lawyer, but I am afraid of not being able to fight as well as other lawyers. Some laws may escape me and I don't want to depend on something that isn't worth anything and base my whole defense or whatever on it.