for what its worth...

[xxmiamimofo21xx]

for what its worth...im not really the one who can say they ever threw something of value away...especially when it comes to good friendships...i think lately over the last year or so ive been robbed of the luxury of good friends...although i do have an abundance of shady friends...i also have a small group of really good friends...but where did everyone go?...people moved away and did their own thing...and in many ways they forgot all about me...only to be reminded of mah existance by a facebook birthday reminder...i guess in a lot of ways i feel like im always being abandoned by people...and maybe im just as guilty...but heres the kicker...a once really close friend of mine (or so i thought but who knows i could have just been someone to pass the time with)...has come into town numerous times since she moved away...and not once has she bothered to see me...and i do somewhat blame the people she hangs out with but i also dunno...i mean she said that she had all this family drama to deal with after i called her out on not being even a shady 5 minute lunch date friend...and she freaked out about all this shit...i mean im sorry that it happened to u and it apparently cut ur trip to florida short...but thats simply one time...what about all the other times...and if u were too sad or depressed to see or talk to someone and all u wanted to do was go home...thats fine...i understand...but maybe u should just be honest and say u dont want to hang out cuz im not as cool as the people ur in pictures partying with while u were here...i guess all i expect is a little bit of honesty...and i have such a hard time believing the people around me...if its all true...hey im sorry about it...but its still not an excuse to be a not-so-existent friend...i mean this about more than this recent friend deleting occurance...i mean i was genuinely hurt by the fact she couldnt have been bothered to even attempt to see me on mah bday week...but i guess like i said i need to leave the past in the hazy fog...and keep trotting on...i dunno i guess im just disappointed in people lately...maybe im just over it and above it...or maybe i am really ready to get the fuck out of here and start over...if things dont work out with the new house i think i may just leave ulta and move away...cut mah loses...and just start over...ive had a lot of time to just think about things and people and just the situations as of late...and i feel like not only in friendships but also in work...that i get taken advantage of alot...and more than not...walked all over...i think people are shady and need to own up to the fact they are just as fake as me...they arent above me...and i understand things work both ways...but it cant be said that i didnt/dont try...and people are always the ones pointing the fingers of blame at me...and im sooooooooooo tired of it...i just am so tired of people puttin their bullshit problems on me...putting on a show and pretending i care about people who have little to no consideration/respect/interest in me...very sad i must say...from now on im not even going to try to be friends with people...its just pointless people fuck u over anyways...and its not to say i wont continue being a good friend to the people who are to me...but it just means im not willing to put up with the bullshit excuses anymore...and the petty lying that just makes everyone look stupid is just annoying...i guess what im just trying to say is why cant everyone just fuckin say it like it is...friends...guys...etc...its like u kno why dont u just say i wanna fuck u and not talk to u again...or say well im going to go to lunch with u but im def not going to like it...or i only sit next to u in class because i dont feel like getting to kno anyone...so dont talk to me...

get over urselves people...i already did...just answer me this what happened to the people i was supposed to grow old with?...what happened to friend like sophia?...blanche?...dorothy?...and rose?...ahhh yes they are indeed fictitious and nonexistent in any form...

-done with ft myers...someone get me a dog...