(no subject)
3.49am. Thats the time right now. If your reading this your probably thinking what the fuck. Well at 3.00am I got this weird feeling. I was scared, nervous, jumpy, excited, sad, all at the same time. Then a minute later I felt tears rolling down my cheeks and I couldn't help but feel scared all together and bawl my eyes out. I actually couldn't sit still so I walked around trying to get my stuff together crying.
Then a little before 3.30am I decided to go into my bedroom with a notebook, hotpink pen, cd player, and lamp, put the lamp on the dresser inside my closet, made a place for me to sit, turned the lamp on, and closed the closet doors. Next thing I did was push play on my cd player [mcr was in it] and wrote a letter to Gerard. It wasn't a letter about how much I loved him and how I think he's hot. Instead it was actually a letter that meant something.
I asked a few questions about him and the band that I couldn't find online because all those little questions led to the reason of why I was writting to him. The only thing I could find online is about how he made the song "Helena" for his grandmother Elena. The reason he made it for her was because they we're really close and she bought the band a van when they we're first starting out and wouldn't take the money that he offered her and when she died he wrote a song for her.
[Yes I do know that him actually reading it is very slim but maybe I'll be one of the lucky people that he dose read. Otherwise I'll just make two copies and give him one at the warped tour. I'm so talking to him because I need to ask him something, actually a couple things. Plus I have made up my mind, and I am going to meet Gerard, no matter what everyone else says or thinks.]
Knowing that he was close to his grandmother I decided to write to him. See the reason I started crying at 3.00am was because I had a weird feeling that my grandmother had passed away, and I have a feeling that tomorrow I'll have to face a call from someone in my family saying that she passed away last night. The reason I actually broke down and cried though was because I've had this feeling twice before, once with my grandpa when I was almost 4 and I had a feeling that he was going to die and then in the night he did. And another time just last year when I broke down crying at 5.05pm because I had a feeling that Princess died and when my mom got home she told me that Princess died at 5.05pm, the time that I broke down crying.
Hopefully this time it's all in my head and I'm wrong, but I guess I'll find out later today. If I'm wrong I'll update sometime on friday and tell about my whole week and last weekend because I really just feel like walking around my bedroom again and crying. Then maybe at like 6ish I'll go outside and walk around crying. Who knows. I just like walking around I guess.
Then a little before 3.30am I decided to go into my bedroom with a notebook, hotpink pen, cd player, and lamp, put the lamp on the dresser inside my closet, made a place for me to sit, turned the lamp on, and closed the closet doors. Next thing I did was push play on my cd player [mcr was in it] and wrote a letter to Gerard. It wasn't a letter about how much I loved him and how I think he's hot. Instead it was actually a letter that meant something.
I asked a few questions about him and the band that I couldn't find online because all those little questions led to the reason of why I was writting to him. The only thing I could find online is about how he made the song "Helena" for his grandmother Elena. The reason he made it for her was because they we're really close and she bought the band a van when they we're first starting out and wouldn't take the money that he offered her and when she died he wrote a song for her.
[Yes I do know that him actually reading it is very slim but maybe I'll be one of the lucky people that he dose read. Otherwise I'll just make two copies and give him one at the warped tour. I'm so talking to him because I need to ask him something, actually a couple things. Plus I have made up my mind, and I am going to meet Gerard, no matter what everyone else says or thinks.]
Knowing that he was close to his grandmother I decided to write to him. See the reason I started crying at 3.00am was because I had a weird feeling that my grandmother had passed away, and I have a feeling that tomorrow I'll have to face a call from someone in my family saying that she passed away last night. The reason I actually broke down and cried though was because I've had this feeling twice before, once with my grandpa when I was almost 4 and I had a feeling that he was going to die and then in the night he did. And another time just last year when I broke down crying at 5.05pm because I had a feeling that Princess died and when my mom got home she told me that Princess died at 5.05pm, the time that I broke down crying.
Hopefully this time it's all in my head and I'm wrong, but I guess I'll find out later today. If I'm wrong I'll update sometime on friday and tell about my whole week and last weekend because I really just feel like walking around my bedroom again and crying. Then maybe at like 6ish I'll go outside and walk around crying. Who knows. I just like walking around I guess.