The worst feeling is powerlessness.
I really want - no, probably need - to get out of this wretched place. The issue is, I wouldn't begin to know how. I have a horrible feeling of dread when it comes to living on my own. I absolutely do not want to be by myself, period, but even with a friend the deathtrap of a lifestyle my parents have made for me has set me back years. And it's not like I have a bunch of great friends in this Hellhole anyway. I maybe have like two to three people who even give a fuck at all, and the worst part is I still can't talk to anyone here about everything I'd like to. Even so, I guess anything is better than living a life I despise as I it is now.
I got into a fight with my parents about how much I hate my mom's job. She's never fucking home, and it seems whenever she comes home she goes to sleep right away. On her days off, she'll go out somewhere and shit. And I'm always the one left sitting at home alone doing nothing. She said it was because she had to maintain the lifestyle my brother and I were used to. The lifestyle that pretty much makes us dependent on them. I'll admit, I'd hate not to have such a lifestyle, but I know once I'm out on my own I won't magically have it either. She claimed there was no other job she could possibly have, but it's not like she ever fucking tried.
I've decided I don't want to go to Harford Community anymore, simply because I don't want to be here. I want to think of a way to live someplace else, with someone else.
I got into a fight with my parents about how much I hate my mom's job. She's never fucking home, and it seems whenever she comes home she goes to sleep right away. On her days off, she'll go out somewhere and shit. And I'm always the one left sitting at home alone doing nothing. She said it was because she had to maintain the lifestyle my brother and I were used to. The lifestyle that pretty much makes us dependent on them. I'll admit, I'd hate not to have such a lifestyle, but I know once I'm out on my own I won't magically have it either. She claimed there was no other job she could possibly have, but it's not like she ever fucking tried.
I've decided I don't want to go to Harford Community anymore, simply because I don't want to be here. I want to think of a way to live someplace else, with someone else.