if this is what love will do to you, count me out.
should i just give up? honestly, because i do not see the point of even thinking about having another relationship with christian. i know he still loves me, but not the same, not like i want him to. i miss the realtionship we had 4 months ago. thats what i want, i want to be with christian and happy again. the last month has been hell. especially the last 2 days. he doesnt even know. i called him crying, and he didnt care. all he said was "chris, she wont stop crying" and kinda laughed. ( he was at chris atkins' house.) i told you all he didnt care anymore. he doesnt give a shit about me, or trying to work things out ever. maybe i deserve it. i was so bad to him. i guess i did ask for this. i got what i deserved. i just wish i deserved him, and happiness. but i cant honestly be happy w/o him. i can pretend like i have all day..but it doesnt do any good. i still miss him. i gave him a hug after school and seriously started crying when i went back inside, then i was crying at practice.. and i have just been a big tear fest.