rainy days and mondays always get me down
it was neither raining or monday but it might as well have been today. sometimes the slightest bit of coldness numbs me to the core. like gravity it weighs me down and discourages me from moving. if i was a mother of three and living in the country - my children would have had a hot apple pie for desert tonight. but i live in the suburbs and my kids are cats and do not enjoy pie or apples.
i didnt do much of anything today - and that sucks.
i went to the movies at 7 and saw swimming pool. it was an interesting movie - i think ill have to see it again - because i think there are parts of it i didnt pick up. it had a huge twist in the end. im not sure if the whole movie was her book and her book was revenge on her publisher or what the hell was going on. sometimes - very rarely though i just dont get it. or i do get it - and i question it.
i dont know.
going to the movies by myself is a good feeling most of the time - but sometimes i wish i had someone to talk about the movie with.
before the movie hussein called me - i had not talked to him since the other night when he said "fuck you jessica" - and im glad i hadnt called him since - just because its not right he talk to me that way - and also because - i knew he would come back to me with his tail inbetween his legs. and he did. and because he did - i get the joy of being mega bitch towards him - and he has to put up with it - because he called me and i didnt call him. so once more in our ongoing drama - i am in charge. i told him id call him back after the movie.
BUT right after the movie while walking to my car i turned my cell phone on - and a second later lynn called me. she was at home depot with mike who talks too much - he was on some sort of shopping binge i guess - so i stopped over there and ended up talking to her for like an hour in my car. she is pretty.
on way home from there i called hussein and told him i was home from the movies - i continued being semi cold towards him. i really just dont think i care about people like him anymore. drainers. its just too frustrating and time consuming. everytime i talk to him he gets into this self defeating mood - where he says over and over again "i hate myself i hate what i have become this is not me blah blah" well what do you want me to do about it? because everything i suggest is shot down by excuses.
you dont deserve to complain if you havent even attempted to change your situation.
all he does is drink and get high these days and i dont smoke anymore and i dont like to drink till i puke.
well lori is online so ill talk to her for a bit then go to bed
i didnt do much of anything today - and that sucks.
i went to the movies at 7 and saw swimming pool. it was an interesting movie - i think ill have to see it again - because i think there are parts of it i didnt pick up. it had a huge twist in the end. im not sure if the whole movie was her book and her book was revenge on her publisher or what the hell was going on. sometimes - very rarely though i just dont get it. or i do get it - and i question it.
i dont know.
going to the movies by myself is a good feeling most of the time - but sometimes i wish i had someone to talk about the movie with.
before the movie hussein called me - i had not talked to him since the other night when he said "fuck you jessica" - and im glad i hadnt called him since - just because its not right he talk to me that way - and also because - i knew he would come back to me with his tail inbetween his legs. and he did. and because he did - i get the joy of being mega bitch towards him - and he has to put up with it - because he called me and i didnt call him. so once more in our ongoing drama - i am in charge. i told him id call him back after the movie.
BUT right after the movie while walking to my car i turned my cell phone on - and a second later lynn called me. she was at home depot with mike who talks too much - he was on some sort of shopping binge i guess - so i stopped over there and ended up talking to her for like an hour in my car. she is pretty.
on way home from there i called hussein and told him i was home from the movies - i continued being semi cold towards him. i really just dont think i care about people like him anymore. drainers. its just too frustrating and time consuming. everytime i talk to him he gets into this self defeating mood - where he says over and over again "i hate myself i hate what i have become this is not me blah blah" well what do you want me to do about it? because everything i suggest is shot down by excuses.
you dont deserve to complain if you havent even attempted to change your situation.
all he does is drink and get high these days and i dont smoke anymore and i dont like to drink till i puke.
well lori is online so ill talk to her for a bit then go to bed