something about carlos and the holocaust.
carlos and i started talking outside - we talked about his family - he is up here in buffalo for the week with his sister and father and his sisters friend - they are visiting their other sister who is a architecture professor at ub - we talked about his family and just about every thing until christopher came over when he was done talking to the band guy - he kind of stole carlos away from me. carlos lives in miami and chris went to school in miami - so they had a lot to talk about i guess.
to make a long story short - somehow all five of us became friends fast - i dont do drugs anymore and havent for two or three weeks (yay!) - and carlos doesnt do them because he sells mortgages and is trying to get a job at chase manhattan - but the other three did. somehow we ended up going over to husseins house - because originally i called hussein to tell him we were parking in his parking lot but he said it would be ok if we came upstairs. carlos and i talked while they smoked. after they all were good and high - we went back to broadway joes for a drink - and then we went to iberia - where carlos and i spent time outside on the patio talking. carlos has a girlfriend who is his best friends twin sister - they have been dating for almost a year. carlos thought that christopher was my boyfriend - blah. we exchanged phone numbers. im positive we will talk again - if we dont it will be a shame because i really love typing the name carlos.
i dont know - im not sure what it was about last night that made it soo great - if it was meeting carlos or just being out and not feeling so confined to ritual and habits. some nights are magical and last night was magical. it is such a rare night when i can meet up with old friends and make new friends and feel fresh and on top of everything the whole time. i should have nights like last night more often - they might be what a healthy life is all about. balance - balance of the old and new. when i think of the best nights out - my memory points to nights where everything fit together - like one night 6 years ago or so i was tripping at perkins and there happened to be eric sequman and phil something and someother kid i dont remember - and i ran out of ciggerettes and it was soo perfect - they took my empty pack and they filled it with different types of ciggerettes they all had - everything was great and i was left with almost a full pack of a variety of ciggerettes they collected for me. ok thats a fucked up example = but the point probably is made.
anyway after our shenanigans were done - christopher and i went to his apt. and i watched this video he is making - it was really cute i guess. i drank a ton of water there and i left before things got strange. because things always get strange with christopher - a kiss on the hand turns into a talk about 9 years ago and then id probably end up knocked up by some wannabe rock star. ok that was kind of harsh. i love christopher - he is one of my dearest friends.
when i got home i called hussein back - he called me around 3 or so to see if i was still with those people -we talked on the phone for an hour - i cant remember what happened exactly but his last words were fuck you jessica and he hung up on me.
meh.
i guess i shouldnt talk on the phone when im half asleep. he will get over it and if he doesnt - i frankly dont give a damn. because the way his life is going right now - im not so sure i even want to be a part of it. that is something i love - making good choices about bad people.
this morning i slept in a bit and woke up around 1030. i went to the mall and returned the pants i bought from express because i couldnt get the zipper down - i also returned the shirt i bought from deb - because its deb and cheap and i should have known better - i exchanged it for 5 pieces of clearance jewlrey and two purses.
later i went to the galleria mall to meet up with heather and vinnie. i saw frank. i havent seen frank in more then 3 years. and it was soo bittersweet - in a way it was comforting to see him but in the biggest way it was super depressing. its like he hasnt changed. its like he is in same place he was at years ago. long haired and at the mall arcade. that depressed me - but he seemed happy. but have he no pride? get a hair cut and get a real job. once when i was 17 or probably younger - he told me that when he was a kid he would always wish that he would be like peter pan - forever young. well he is 29 and working at the galleria mall - so when i say this expierence of seeing him was comforting i mean its great that wishes really do come true.
we went out to dinner at ottos.
i went over to heathers hosue and we watched an amazing movie - life is beautiful - i cried like a blubbering fool. i dont know how you couldnt though. holocaust movies get me every time. shocking. i love a good movie. not love in a good way - like they become part of my life - even though i hated the movie - in american beauty that whole paper bag in the wind thing -whenever i see litter blowing in the wind - i think there is so much beauty in the world. its such a waste. my head is full of usesless information. i dont like to consider my self brainwashed but i am definetly impressionable to certain images.
i need to go to sleep.
to make a long story short - somehow all five of us became friends fast - i dont do drugs anymore and havent for two or three weeks (yay!) - and carlos doesnt do them because he sells mortgages and is trying to get a job at chase manhattan - but the other three did. somehow we ended up going over to husseins house - because originally i called hussein to tell him we were parking in his parking lot but he said it would be ok if we came upstairs. carlos and i talked while they smoked. after they all were good and high - we went back to broadway joes for a drink - and then we went to iberia - where carlos and i spent time outside on the patio talking. carlos has a girlfriend who is his best friends twin sister - they have been dating for almost a year. carlos thought that christopher was my boyfriend - blah. we exchanged phone numbers. im positive we will talk again - if we dont it will be a shame because i really love typing the name carlos.
i dont know - im not sure what it was about last night that made it soo great - if it was meeting carlos or just being out and not feeling so confined to ritual and habits. some nights are magical and last night was magical. it is such a rare night when i can meet up with old friends and make new friends and feel fresh and on top of everything the whole time. i should have nights like last night more often - they might be what a healthy life is all about. balance - balance of the old and new. when i think of the best nights out - my memory points to nights where everything fit together - like one night 6 years ago or so i was tripping at perkins and there happened to be eric sequman and phil something and someother kid i dont remember - and i ran out of ciggerettes and it was soo perfect - they took my empty pack and they filled it with different types of ciggerettes they all had - everything was great and i was left with almost a full pack of a variety of ciggerettes they collected for me. ok thats a fucked up example = but the point probably is made.
anyway after our shenanigans were done - christopher and i went to his apt. and i watched this video he is making - it was really cute i guess. i drank a ton of water there and i left before things got strange. because things always get strange with christopher - a kiss on the hand turns into a talk about 9 years ago and then id probably end up knocked up by some wannabe rock star. ok that was kind of harsh. i love christopher - he is one of my dearest friends.
when i got home i called hussein back - he called me around 3 or so to see if i was still with those people -we talked on the phone for an hour - i cant remember what happened exactly but his last words were fuck you jessica and he hung up on me.
meh.
i guess i shouldnt talk on the phone when im half asleep. he will get over it and if he doesnt - i frankly dont give a damn. because the way his life is going right now - im not so sure i even want to be a part of it. that is something i love - making good choices about bad people.
this morning i slept in a bit and woke up around 1030. i went to the mall and returned the pants i bought from express because i couldnt get the zipper down - i also returned the shirt i bought from deb - because its deb and cheap and i should have known better - i exchanged it for 5 pieces of clearance jewlrey and two purses.
later i went to the galleria mall to meet up with heather and vinnie. i saw frank. i havent seen frank in more then 3 years. and it was soo bittersweet - in a way it was comforting to see him but in the biggest way it was super depressing. its like he hasnt changed. its like he is in same place he was at years ago. long haired and at the mall arcade. that depressed me - but he seemed happy. but have he no pride? get a hair cut and get a real job. once when i was 17 or probably younger - he told me that when he was a kid he would always wish that he would be like peter pan - forever young. well he is 29 and working at the galleria mall - so when i say this expierence of seeing him was comforting i mean its great that wishes really do come true.
we went out to dinner at ottos.
i went over to heathers hosue and we watched an amazing movie - life is beautiful - i cried like a blubbering fool. i dont know how you couldnt though. holocaust movies get me every time. shocking. i love a good movie. not love in a good way - like they become part of my life - even though i hated the movie - in american beauty that whole paper bag in the wind thing -whenever i see litter blowing in the wind - i think there is so much beauty in the world. its such a waste. my head is full of usesless information. i dont like to consider my self brainwashed but i am definetly impressionable to certain images.
i need to go to sleep.