(no subject)
It is Saturday night and I have time to update. Why you ask? Simply because I feel like shit, cannot even leave my couch, so I cannot make it to the parties. On to other stuff.
It was very hard last weekend. I miss Kelly so much, but I know she is in a better place right now.
Also, last week I had ANOTHER paper and 4 exams. I was so depressed and tired beforehand, I could barely study. And only one of the classes had I actually even attended at all. So yeah. Whatever, the once perfectionist, mind you I am still one, is too apathetic to care about anything - let alone overachieving.
My friend's car broke down last Monday, so I had to pick her up right then and drive her to work. Then wait around at the mall for an hour to drive her back home. I got a call yesterday morning at 8 AM. One of my best friend had passed out on the bus on the way to class. I literally rolled out of my bed and took her to the hospital right away. I waited around there for a couple hours, but eventually left because I had no money left to pay the parking meters. They ended up putting an IV in her and giving her lots of fluids.
Really pissed at James. I told people this is why I didn't hook up with him. He is a frickin' crazy drunk and an asshole when he drinks. I met him this year and we have talked so much. 2 weeks ago I took care of him, because I was outside at 2 in the morning having a cigarette (on a wednesday), and he was returning from the bars. He was beyond wasted. He couldn't even situp. So i stood there with him and I brought him up to his apartment. and he would not stop kissing my neck, telling me he loves me, etc. you know, all that stuff that people say to make you "fall for them". He basically wanted me to stay, but I told him he was really drunk.
Anyway, a few of us invited him out last night to a kegger. he got really drunk. as usual, he hit on every girl there. my friends 16 year old cousin came to visit this weekend, and he basically kissed her. and she has a boyfriend. then somehow he got pissed. and told me and my friend that we were bitches and a few other nasty things i don't want to get into. basically, i NEVER get angry at people. but i was so pissed i screamed to him "a bitch? i have not said ANYTHING" and i didn't even bother to talk to him the rest of the night or even today. people are not worth it.
whatever. it just pisses me off. it just goes to show how i trust nobody. everybody eventually leaves you in the end, even when you think you know them well. etc. there is no point.
I am so upset right now, because I haven't been eating a whole lot recently. When I was waiting at the hospital I jumped on a scale and found out that I have only lost 3 pounds. I will measure my success through the loss. And to me, that is considered a failure. I think I might go to the store tomorrow and buy some exercise tape.
The actual definition of death is the absence of brain activity. I feel that I encompass death in every way except for that one aspect.
It was very hard last weekend. I miss Kelly so much, but I know she is in a better place right now.
Also, last week I had ANOTHER paper and 4 exams. I was so depressed and tired beforehand, I could barely study. And only one of the classes had I actually even attended at all. So yeah. Whatever, the once perfectionist, mind you I am still one, is too apathetic to care about anything - let alone overachieving.
My friend's car broke down last Monday, so I had to pick her up right then and drive her to work. Then wait around at the mall for an hour to drive her back home. I got a call yesterday morning at 8 AM. One of my best friend had passed out on the bus on the way to class. I literally rolled out of my bed and took her to the hospital right away. I waited around there for a couple hours, but eventually left because I had no money left to pay the parking meters. They ended up putting an IV in her and giving her lots of fluids.
Really pissed at James. I told people this is why I didn't hook up with him. He is a frickin' crazy drunk and an asshole when he drinks. I met him this year and we have talked so much. 2 weeks ago I took care of him, because I was outside at 2 in the morning having a cigarette (on a wednesday), and he was returning from the bars. He was beyond wasted. He couldn't even situp. So i stood there with him and I brought him up to his apartment. and he would not stop kissing my neck, telling me he loves me, etc. you know, all that stuff that people say to make you "fall for them". He basically wanted me to stay, but I told him he was really drunk.
Anyway, a few of us invited him out last night to a kegger. he got really drunk. as usual, he hit on every girl there. my friends 16 year old cousin came to visit this weekend, and he basically kissed her. and she has a boyfriend. then somehow he got pissed. and told me and my friend that we were bitches and a few other nasty things i don't want to get into. basically, i NEVER get angry at people. but i was so pissed i screamed to him "a bitch? i have not said ANYTHING" and i didn't even bother to talk to him the rest of the night or even today. people are not worth it.
whatever. it just pisses me off. it just goes to show how i trust nobody. everybody eventually leaves you in the end, even when you think you know them well. etc. there is no point.
I am so upset right now, because I haven't been eating a whole lot recently. When I was waiting at the hospital I jumped on a scale and found out that I have only lost 3 pounds. I will measure my success through the loss. And to me, that is considered a failure. I think I might go to the store tomorrow and buy some exercise tape.
The actual definition of death is the absence of brain activity. I feel that I encompass death in every way except for that one aspect.