"I can't sleep. I am drowning in feelings of being so alone. I need someone to talk to in real life. I need someone to be ME with. I need someone to care about my existence. I need to know someone cares. I need everything I don't have. I need someone who wants to be around me not because they feel sorry for Jason, who has no friends, but because Jason is Jason.
I need someone who understands I will piss them off occasionally, do something that will really get to them, and not write me off. Someone who will come and talk to me about it instead of hating me and shutting me out.
Am I defective? I must be. Someone must be wrong with me. I'm 21 years old and the amount of TRUE friends I have can be counted on 1 hand with plenty of fingers left over. What happened over those years? What continues to happen?
I just want to scream. I feel anger now since I have typed this out at this being alone feeling. I rarely feel anger. I mostly feel really sad. Anger is somewhat therapeutic. Its a nice vacation from being depressed. No, wait. I spoke to soon. This is too much. I feel anger and sadness all at once. Why can't emotions wait their turn to beat the shit out of me? Why should they? Go ahead, do your worst. They might as well.
Anyways just thought, although this entry is not that new, that you might want to know someone out there knows how you feel.
I have a new community called Post_Incognito that you might like.
Anyway, I thought I would share those things with you.
This is from that entry:
"I can't sleep. I am drowning in feelings of being so alone. I need someone to talk to in real life. I need someone to be ME with. I need someone to care about my existence. I need to know someone cares. I need everything I don't have. I need someone who wants to be around me not because they feel sorry for Jason, who has no friends, but because Jason is Jason.
I need someone who understands I will piss them off occasionally, do something that will really get to them, and not write me off. Someone who will come and talk to me about it instead of hating me and shutting me out.
Am I defective? I must be. Someone must be wrong with me. I'm 21 years old and the amount of TRUE friends I have can be counted on 1 hand with plenty of fingers left over. What happened over those years? What continues to happen?
I just want to scream. I feel anger now since I have typed this out at this being alone feeling. I rarely feel anger. I mostly feel really sad. Anger is somewhat therapeutic. Its a nice vacation from being depressed. No, wait. I spoke to soon. This is too much. I feel anger and sadness all at once. Why can't emotions wait their turn to beat the shit out of me? Why should they? Go ahead, do your worst. They might as well.
Anyways just thought, although this entry is not that new, that you might want to know someone out there knows how you feel.
I have a new community called Post_Incognito that you might like.
Anyway, I thought I would share those things with you.
--Jason--
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