(no subject)
Hand in hand on the darkened street, led by the moon and our inexistent guide, I felt her heat, her mind, burning with the thought of something. Sytriss. She was almost perfection in the flesh. Dangerous to strangers but beautiful to those who know her. She gripped my hand and my heart as we walked the emptiness of the city.
The streets all abandoned, seemingly a post-nuclear wasteland, single cars blast by us and disappear forever, never to be seen again. The soft yellow street lights revealed our path to a place we don’t even know exists. Traffic lights the only color around. Eternity seems to be lying at our feet. I slid my hand around her waist, holding her closer. I felt ever thoughts and every breath from her, perfection. “What do you think is the point of existence?”. She seemed to really be enthralled in this idea. “To eliminate all your worldly thoughts and needs, to rid yourself of your sins, lust, wrath, ECT. so you can have true contentment in your afterlife.” This moved me, changed my entire perception on life and existing. I don’t know how she does that, day after day, teaching me something on every step of the stairs to enlightenment.
“Where are we going today.” She asks me, like I know. “Wherever, let’s just walk until we get somewhere dark.” She gave me a look as if to say “don’t get your hopes up” she knows me all to well. My mind sets it limits to the horizon, the ever seceding line, never to be met. But this time there was something there, bending the rule a little bit. It was a dark brick building, tattered and torn from years of neglect and weathering, makes you wonder how someone can disgrace something so beautiful. Some people dedicated years of labor onto that and they leave it for dead, how dreadful.
I felt her shaking as we got so close to the building, I new she wasn’t scared, we’ve done this before, I think it was exactly what I was feeling. Overwhelmed with the beauty of this place, the door broken and shifted out of place, a sign reading “Danvers State Mental Asylum” covered in dust, age, and stories of pain, decaying with the ages of agony and torment that was endured here. The intensity was overbearing. I loosened my grip on her and she walk close to the door. I stayed a step behind, this was her part in our little game of life. Looking at the lock, she had a confused look about her, but as always she knew what to do next. Pulling out a credit card and shoving it in the crack near the door, jimmying the lock a little. The door cracked open as the lock came off.
The door flung open and dust poured out, almost invisible in the darkness of night. The cloud clogged my throat with a stiff force. It all cleared over and the extreme darkness lay ahead. Some windows shown with light from the yellow moon, giving it an almost ancient, haunted look. I looked to my side, where Sytriss was standing, her mouth was open in awe, as was mine. This place was so wide and open, it was the bowels of hell risen to earth for our enjoyment. Broken glass and wood splinters littered the floor in an array equal to a hurricane, but self contained. I took a step forward and stood directly beside her, I could see her breath, so calm and deep, almost breathing in the memory of the place, as was I, slow and deep, till I felt like floating away. I saw her begin to wander off, and I took my direction, of to the left of the building. I saw a door deep into the building, covered in boards dust and shame. I grab a plank of wood and throw it away from the door, it slammed hard on the floor echoing through the entire building, reverberating back at me, the spirits were playing games on me, or that’s how it seemed.
I pulled my sweatshirt sleeve over my hand and wiped off the dust from a protruding area on the door, usually the label to the room. The dust shifted around the room with a whirlwind, and settled around me and in my lungs. I turned my gaze towards the door. The sign read simple “morgue”. That was enough to satisfy my curiosity, but not enough to settle it for long. “Hey, Sytriss! Check this out!” I saw her flash light dump back and forth, almost a hand-held light tower, showing her every move. She shuffled through the dirt and debris of the nearly collapsed building and made her way towards me. “What it is? Found something nice?” she gave a discerned look on her face that just melted me, I guess I was just too soft hearted, but she was just so glowing. “check this, I found the morgue for this place…probly get some good shots from in there, take out of the bed out or something.” She smiled and pushed her way passed me and looked at the door. “Well…let’s go.” She was usually the one to start something like this, but it’s my find.
I kicked the door with deep strain as it cracked and splinted under my foot, I flashed her a smile of triumph, almost saying, I got to it before you! I moved inside, files and chairs and beds in disarray, all in no organization. It was great for our need, I heard her almost gasp, a soft breath, but distinct. I saw a flash go off. “Oh shit, this is great.” She whispered, sounding as if she was only talking to herself. “What?” I walked towards where she was hunched over, with her camera in her hand, gawking at the floor, I look down and saw a bloodstain, old and coagulated with time almost rusted, but a bloodstain defiantly. I looked toward the south wall and saw a wall covered in steel doors, all labeled with inmate numbers. I walked over slowly, attempting to keep this in order, even through that’s long undone, and put my hand on a door, my eyes snapped shut for a split second but it felt like years, I saw blood, heard screams of brutalizing agony, a man in a straight-jacket screaming something about “look into the rabbits hole, everything will be answered!!!”
My eyes snapped back open, my whole body in chills, and a cold sweat. I took a deep breath and cracked the seal on the door, and cautiously opened it. The trench of the grim reapers aftermath perforated from the opening, a smell so sour and bitter, the scent of death. I slowly reached my hand in and grabbed the handle of the bed, and dragged it out slowly. It was long, steel and had blood stained sheets covering it, veils of death, left on earth long after the cadaver had left. I pulled my digital camera from my sweatshirt pocket and slid open the lens cover with a snap. This was such and extensive, beautiful and fulfilling project, dare I say a duty. I took a shot of the distraught room and the extended corpse bed. As the flash snapped and the light receded, I heard the door swing open and a flashlight moved about outside the door. The faint click click on there read 2 people, cops. I could tell Sytriss heard it too. “Fuck, let’s get outta this place.” I saw her begin to climb up a steel shelf and up to a high window, the maverick in her showing greatly, always having an idea. I followed suit, running directly to the shelf, climbing up and out. We both hit the ground with a thud, got to our feet and ran into the night.
My legs pumped with blood and fear as we sprinted through the darkness of the forbidding city. Slowing down I realize that Sytriss has beaten me to the stop. We slowed down and retained control of ourselves. I glanced back, no sign of a pursuit. The black air filtered into my lungs and expanded them and compressed them with immense strain. I looked back and we had gone at leave a quarter mile away from the building. “Let’s go get some food.” Sytriss always has a plan. We turned around and headed away from the street we had just run from, into the unusually quiet town. No cars came past and no stores were opens, it was always like the Dawn of the Dead, an abandoned city inhabited by the socially dead like myself. The hard clack of my boots echoed off the walls and back to me; it sounded like we were being followed, but it was only the empty streets playing games with my mind.
We wondered the streets shrouded in darkness and stars and ended up at a local hotdog venue, Coney Island hotdogs, and picked up 2 hotdogs with the works, chili, cheese, and all other sorts of things, an orgasm on a bun. I took a bite, warm and mushy, but good, it brought back memories of times from the summer, late night parties at the skate park and all over the town, those days long past, but coming soon. I grabbed her free hand and took her through the streets of the ghost town. Traveling up the main road past empty houses, empty businesses and empty lives, a few cars finally came swerving down the street, showing some sign of life.
Fog drifted in from the deep reaches of the town and filled our path as we reached the olive street bridge. The fog flushed into us, a wraith in the night telling us not of our deaths, but of our experiences, telling us we will always be shrouded, protected from anything that could ever tear us apart. The silent city echoed with the sound of my boots hitting the asphalt of the street and with the screams from my heart telling how much I love this girl standing next to me, I’ve known her for such a short time, but every fiber of my being is telling me that she is exactly what I needed. The uphill climb over the olive street bridge dragged of for decades, but it was incredible, silence between us both, but an unspoken bond flushed out the need for words, it was just perfection in being together. Rounding a corner we end a street away from mine, a main road, usually abandoned at this time of night, as it was now.
Entering my street, I notice that no cars are at my house, of course, Friday night, my parents were out. We reached the threshold, the soft, wet grass muffling the pounding sound of our feet down to a slight thud again the earth. I grabbed Sytriss’ hand and flung open the front door, everything was pitch black, but I’ve lived in this same house for almost 10 years, I can get around here blindfolded. I walked to my room, pushed open the blanket I use for a door and enter my darkened room. My company slipped her way under the blanket as well and slid into my room just behind me, holding my hand tight as if we had just walked into the twilight zone. The soft purple illumination from my gecko’s tank light the room in an eerie glow of some other world, but it match beautifully with everything inside the room. I grabbed a lighter and lit my incense and candles, as a soft glow of fire erupted from the shrine I had built on my tabletop. It was surrounding a red Chinese dragon, a symbol of protection. I put Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon into the CD player, bringing back memories of the day I truly met her, the day in music class, such great memories of an incredible person.
In the midst of this process I almost forgot Sytriss was in the room with me. I put my hand in hers and led her to my bed, I turned up the stereo as loud as it could go and laid down next to her, holding her tight, our bodies becoming one with the music and each other.
Visions of flying through the skies of the world mesmerized me as I felt my body shaking back to reality. The visions dissolved in the midmorning sun as my eyes cracked open and landed on the face of perfection. As I began to soak in where I was I realized that Pink Floyd was still playing. The eerie glow of my room had dissipated and changed into a moderate shine from the sun, peering through the cracks in the shades. I strained to hold my eyes open in the burning light of morning, attempting to catch a glimpse at the clock. 8 am, my usual time of awakening, but not usually after falling asleep at 3 am. I closed my eyes and drifted off, back up to the sky, and began flying over the world once again.
I awakened to the sounds of Pink Floyd once again, forgetting I turned it on; I opened my eyes in shock and saw Sytriss sitting in front of my computer in my pajama pants and a wife beater tank top. She smiled at me and let out a soft laugh. Most likely at the state of my disheveled hair, having hair that’s not long and not short has that effect constantly. Even in the morning after few hours of sleep she was beautiful as always. As my mind regained speed and its usual perk I realized that I was wearing those pajamas under my cloths just last night. I lifted the sheets, and from the looks of things, I was in such a deep sleep she got my pants off, or I blacked out last night and took them off myself. My ego told me to go with the latter. I stood up, fully aware of my naked state, and walked myself over to my bureau and threw on a pair of jeans.
My eyes were still burning from the sun, no matter what time of day or how awake I was I have always hated the sun, my calling is the night. “What happened when we got back here?” she smiled at me. “I don’t remember, but I woke up really happy, I wonder…” she could have said it plain as day, because it came in quite clear to me. “So was I any good?” I said with an uncertain look, I’ve been informed of my status. “I’d tell you if I remembered, but from how I feel right now I would say, pretty damn good.” A grin spread over my face instantly, but I tried my hardest to cover it up, I never liked being conceded but it seems I always have reason to be. “Well, in that case let’s go get breakfast.”
I laced up my boots, threw on a shirt and grabbed her hand and headed for the door. My parents were fast asleep in there room, they would never notice if I was gone. The door flung open out into the abandoned streets, even in the middle of the day the streets were empty. I was a long walk to the closet place to get breakfast; the bridge that led straight to the dunkin’ donuts was closed of for construction. We took the long venture past the Seabra, over the olive street bridge and towards Capron Park in complete silence, but in utter rapture of the love emanating from us both. I could imaging people walking past us in awe of our beautiful merged auras, glowing through out the universe, the universe 2 feet wide, made up of us, united by our clasped hands.
Capron Park was as little as 10 feet in front of us, with a four lane main road separating us. I held her hand tightly, thinking of the days as a child, my mom always had me hold her hand while crossing the street. My mind was so care free, no thoughts except the perfection of her blared in my mind. But as I turned to my left, I found that the blaring was not that of love but of an 18 wheel Mack truck. A scream rang in my ears, I could identify who it was, if it was aloud or subconscious, but I felt hands slam into my side, as I flew away from the path of the truck, yet I still heard it tires squeal and I heard a loud hard thump. I turn around and look behind me and I see my dearly beloved lying flat on the ground, completely still and cold, pale white, yet just as beautiful as the day I met her. I crawled on my knees over to her, and held her in my arms and screamed to something to save her, to spare her life. I was blinded by tears and sobs of pain echoing in my mind. Sirens sounded in the background but it was all just a blur of pain and sorrow.\
A police officer approached me and attempted to part me from my love, I struggled with him, punching him as hard as I could hoping that someone she would return of pure love, but my knowledge of life returned to me and I back away, but still close enough to feel her. I saw her head fall to the side, lifeless and pale. Tears welled up in my eyes and I feel to the ground and cried until I almost forgot why.
I knew they were taking her to sturdy memorial , just a mile or 2 up the road, so I wiped the tears from my eyes and conjured up every ounce of strength I had and ran as fast as my legs could take down to the hospital. My legs burned and my eyes stung with sweat tears and wind as I ran through the city down to sturdy, on the other side of town.
I reached my destination and ran into the waiting room and asked where Sytriss had be held, but I never learned her real name, they were dumbfounded at my question so I sat down until something came to me, or until somehow I was called up to see her, but they way things were run around here I doubt it would happen. What of she doesn’t make it? She was so perfect, exactly what I have spent years upon years looking for. What would I do, she is the one, exactly what I need. My mind blanked and replayed stories of our days together, all backwards, leading up to the day we met. So perfect, so right…4 years ago we met, and I have loved her ever second of every day.
After hours upon hours of waiting, it seemed like decades, a doctor approached the waiting room. “Is there someone in here named…” he glanced down and squinted at him paper. “Syd?” my eyes met him and I slowly stood up. I’m not sure how he would know who I was; did this mean she was ok?! “My patient has been asking for you, it’s ok to come in now, follow me.”
I stepped into the blaring white room, my distaste for light still widely present in my mind. I saw Sytriss lying down on a hospital bed, covered I blankets, scars, and pain. She smiled at me under even though circumstances. “You…you saved me…” “Oh shut up, you have done the same for me…”her voice was raspy, contorted, filled with anguish; I was almost painful to hear her like that. “Sytriss, no one else would ever do anything like that for me…I love you so much.” “I love you too, and your lucky, I wouldn’t be laying here for many people.” Even in this mangled state she kept her greatest quality, her pure truthfulness. “Sytriss…will you marry me?” I have no idea where the question came from, but I didn’t hesitate for a moment to take it back.