006 - First Day on the Job and a Survey

Aug 04, 2005 20:41


[mood|
okay]

[mood|
sad]

Daddy left home late last night and he hasn't come back yet.  He hadn't done that since when I was in the 7th grade.  He usually leaves for work at about 9:00pm but when I came down to the kitchen to make some Sleepytime Tea at 9:30, he was still home.  I didn't think anything of it until after the tea kettle whistled and I heard some sounds coming from the other room.  I took the kettle off the stove so the whistle would stop and peeked around the doorway to find my parents in an argument.  Mom was clinging on to dad and crying while Daddy was trying to get free.  I watched as he staggered away from mom, drunk.  He promised to stop drinking.  He promised!  I hate him when he drinks.  From what I could hear, daddy had gotten fired again from his job and mom was upset.  They argued a bit more and then Daddy yelled, "GET OFF MY F*CKING BACK!" while throwing my mother onto the carpet.  And then he was gone.  Mom looked pathetic, lying there on the ground.  Somehow, though I shared my mother's distress, I felt detached from the situation.  I couldn't run over and try to comfort mom.  I couldn't.

Instead I broke down and put the kettle back onto the stove.  I looked everywhere for the knives before remembering they were locked up in the cabinet.  I wanted to cry out but the last thing I wanted was a hug from my mother.  I shook the pink bicycle lock.  It was the one small obstacle from relief.  It was no use, I'd never be able to open it with out the combination.  Since there were no sharp objects within my field of vision, I grabbed the tea kettle once again and ran to my room.  I shut the door and sat on the comforter.  I pulled up my nightgown all the way to my thigh and let the burning hot tea kettle touch my skin.  I knew it would be painful.  I had done this before I was sent to the institution.  I held the kettle there against my thigh until I couldn't take it anymore.  It felt like heaven, those few seconds after the shock from the pain overrode the everything else I was feeling -- anger, desperation...even madness.   A wave of calmness came over me and then I put on my swim suit and jumped in the pool.  I relaxed for about a half an hour before taking a shower and hopping into bed.  I never did pour myself that cup of tea.

When I woke up this morning, mom told me she had borrowed money from grandma and for the most part tried to act like nothing unusual had happened last night and I did the same.  Daddy's still gone though.

Mom took me to work today and wished me luck.  When I went inside, Mr. Grey was waiting for me.  He told me to fix him a cup of coffee and after I returned, he gave me a tour of the office and showed me where all the machines are.  It's a small office overall - only me, Mr. Grey and the paralegal work there.  I haven't met her yet.  I think he said her name is Sandra.

Basically, all I did today at work was type a couple of letters for Mr. Grey and alphabetize some folders.  Mr. Grey doesn't believe in using computers at work.  Just typewriters.  I guess others would find it odd, but I think it's charming and old-fashioned.  At school, I was trained to use a typewriter, so it doesn't bother me at all to constantly use one at work.

I borrowed a survey from victoria_gray today. :) She seemed nice when I asked if I could use the survey, but I really haven't met her yet.  From what I've learned so far, she works at a law firm with alan_shore. The questions are under the cut.


1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says:
"She tries to smile and the phone rings."

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?
A pink and white ballerina figurine. My purple desk lamp.

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
I don't watch television a lot since we only have a couple of TV sets in the house but the last thing I can remember watching was the news.  A very pretty blonde lawyer, Tricia O'Connor. had won an important case, though I don't remember what the case was.  She was walking down the steps of a courthouse surrounded by a lot of reporters.

4. Which is better Action movies or Comedy?
I like comedies better.  I love laughing.

5. What was the last book you read?
I think it was A Walk to Remember by Nicholas Sparks.  It's one of my favorites.

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
I think I can hear Theresa's and Jonathan's trailer out back creaking again.  Oh, and mom's watching something on TV in the living room.

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
When I left work for the day.  Mom drove up to the front of the building and we went home.

8. Where were you this time yesterday?
I was up in my room reading Cosmo magazine.

9. Before you came to this website, what did you look at?
Google.  I looked up a recipe for chocolate pudding.

10. What are you wearing?
A simple cotton nightgown and robe. Nightclothes.

11. What was the last thing you had to eat?
Fried chicken and mashed potatoes.  Oh, and ice cream.

12. When did you last laugh?
Before Daddy left.  I guess when I was reading the embarrassing moments section in Cosmo.

13. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Lavendar and white paint.  I also have some butterfly wallpaper up around the room.

14. Do you like to dance? 
The last time I danced was at Theresa's wedding.  I don't think I'm a good dancer and don't usually dance, but when I was dancing with Peter, I didn't care.  It was fun.

15. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Abroad?  Oh...overseas, like in Europe?  I guess I would if I could get a job...I've always wanted to visit Europe.

16. Flowers or Candy?
Well, I like chocolate, but I like flowers too. I've never received candy or flowers from a boy, so I'd be happy to get either.

17. What's in your CD player right now?
In my walkman right now, I have Madonna's "True Blue."

18. Number 21 on your Ipod.
If I had an iPod, I guess I'd have songs from an 80s band on it.

19. Where did you go on your last vacation?
The Grand Canyon when I was 14.  My family doesn't go on vacation often.

20. Would you say you're all around happy?
I guess so.
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