And I swear to God I'll find myself in the end
I definately had a bit of a breakdown last night. It was odd, because it was completely unexpected. I didn't even feel it coming on until I was in it. I've been thinking a lot about this art project that I have to do for my ART126 class and I think it was sort of the culmination of all of that. I can tell that its going to be a deeply personal experience. It isn't even supposed to be one of those things that you put a lot of effort into, but I find myself wanting to. Not to impress my professor, or get an A in the class. I want to do this for me. Rephrase -- I need to do this for me. I guess I just realized that there's a lot I've been burying for the past couple of years. I guess this project will be the beginning of the process of uncovering. I have so many unanswered questions that I keep plaguing myself with and I think its about time I begin to answer them or accept that I cannot. Trust me...I understand that this project will in no way be the end of the experience, but its a good place to start. And I guess I'll just have to keep creating until its finished. When will that be? I'm not sure now, but I'm sure I will.
It's funny, because I don't think I fully understood what it meant to create art until now. Until you find yourself curled in the fetal position on your shower floor, you haven't a clue.
It's funny, because I don't think I fully understood what it meant to create art until now. Until you find yourself curled in the fetal position on your shower floor, you haven't a clue.