You're just the girl all the boys want to dance with
So the lack of updating should explain the lack of anything eventful happening in this dust covered town. I've found ways to pass the time and spend the nights. Bars that'll have me and other things. But its kinda like living in a coma. All of my nights are shrowded in fog and I'm living hour by hour.
I had to visit Ben one last time before he left for Tampa. Apparently he couldn't stand his own version of Small Town X in Howell and decided to live out the rest of his Michigan days where they mattered most. Of course a trip was in order. I think I've seen a side of Ben that no one else has, well I'm sure there are others - Carrie, but he's shown me something he rarely shows. Our last night, among other things *wink wink* consisted of lengthy conversations I'm not at liability to discuss [I'd never betray his trust and some of you know him]. Just believe me when I say that he really is one of the most genuine people I know. Not outwardly, he's acted rather robotically in most situations for a long, long time, but he can admit it and that's what makes him real. He said some things that could have really made me start to care and I say this with all honesty...I will miss him. He told me this and it was one of the most helpful, reassuring things anyone has ever said to me...
*You're realistic and rare. You've got more figured out than people twice your age and I think you've got a natural understanding of the way things work. You don't concern yourself with fairy tail endings, because you know those kinds of things don't exist. And like we've both said, you get that sometimes love isn't enough. Its about common interest and timing. You're a planner, but don't be afraid to change the plan and don't be surprised when it does.*
I wish him luck and love and happiness. He really does deserve it despite the mistakes he's made. I'm hoping it isn't goodbye, but I'll be all right if it is.
I had to visit Ben one last time before he left for Tampa. Apparently he couldn't stand his own version of Small Town X in Howell and decided to live out the rest of his Michigan days where they mattered most. Of course a trip was in order. I think I've seen a side of Ben that no one else has, well I'm sure there are others - Carrie, but he's shown me something he rarely shows. Our last night, among other things *wink wink* consisted of lengthy conversations I'm not at liability to discuss [I'd never betray his trust and some of you know him]. Just believe me when I say that he really is one of the most genuine people I know. Not outwardly, he's acted rather robotically in most situations for a long, long time, but he can admit it and that's what makes him real. He said some things that could have really made me start to care and I say this with all honesty...I will miss him. He told me this and it was one of the most helpful, reassuring things anyone has ever said to me...
*You're realistic and rare. You've got more figured out than people twice your age and I think you've got a natural understanding of the way things work. You don't concern yourself with fairy tail endings, because you know those kinds of things don't exist. And like we've both said, you get that sometimes love isn't enough. Its about common interest and timing. You're a planner, but don't be afraid to change the plan and don't be surprised when it does.*
I wish him luck and love and happiness. He really does deserve it despite the mistakes he's made. I'm hoping it isn't goodbye, but I'll be all right if it is.