(no subject)
Dearest livejournal,
You know, it's kind of funny. I sometimes read back through my entries, and the majority of them are whiney and selfish. But, unfortunately, that's kind of who I am. (Thus, I am making another meloncholy entry)Let's face it- I've pretty much lost touch with my friends. They're all off living their lives, or so it seems, and I'm still stuck in the past. To be honest, I hate Michigan State. People that I knew previously don't really show any interest in friendship, and the idea of meeting new people constantly looks as barren as, well, something. I don't know what. I haven't had much sleep, mind you. It just seems to me like every single person I meet has misplaced their intelligence, and, believe me, that's something coming from someone like me. I admit- I'm no genius. But, I'm not entirely stupid either. However, despite their immense stupidity, people still manage to make me feel clueless. (oh geez- do I deviate, or what? X_X) I...feel utterly alone all of the time. I have my boyfriend, and don't get me wrong- I love him more than everything (I don't know what I'd do without him). It's just that I have no other friends. That makes me feel terrible, really. I've tried, I really have. Though, I do have some standards. I refuse to pretend to be something I'm not just to make friends; I did that enough in high school, and I've had enough of being someone I'm not. But, I wonder, is that damning me to an eternity of loneliness? I hate people who stare and think that I cannot see them sneering. I hate being angry and irritable all of the time, especially when it hurts the one person that seems to care about me. I hate that I sit in my free time, surveying peoples' lives with envy. I really am starting to hate who I am becoming, but without friends, I'm starting to lose the initiative to stop it. I never thought it would happen, but I miss high school a little bit. I miss the good times I had with my true friends, and I wish I would've appreciated them more while I had the chance.
Well, after all that negativity, I do have a few updates I want to document (I guess.)
I work at Starbucks, which means I get as much fucking free coffee I want during shifts.
I'm completely unsure of my major- I don't know if I can compete.
Yeah... I'm also making a resolution as of now to stop talking about these problems when I actually do get to chat with my old friends. The end!
You know, it's kind of funny. I sometimes read back through my entries, and the majority of them are whiney and selfish. But, unfortunately, that's kind of who I am. (Thus, I am making another meloncholy entry)Let's face it- I've pretty much lost touch with my friends. They're all off living their lives, or so it seems, and I'm still stuck in the past. To be honest, I hate Michigan State. People that I knew previously don't really show any interest in friendship, and the idea of meeting new people constantly looks as barren as, well, something. I don't know what. I haven't had much sleep, mind you. It just seems to me like every single person I meet has misplaced their intelligence, and, believe me, that's something coming from someone like me. I admit- I'm no genius. But, I'm not entirely stupid either. However, despite their immense stupidity, people still manage to make me feel clueless. (oh geez- do I deviate, or what? X_X) I...feel utterly alone all of the time. I have my boyfriend, and don't get me wrong- I love him more than everything (I don't know what I'd do without him). It's just that I have no other friends. That makes me feel terrible, really. I've tried, I really have. Though, I do have some standards. I refuse to pretend to be something I'm not just to make friends; I did that enough in high school, and I've had enough of being someone I'm not. But, I wonder, is that damning me to an eternity of loneliness? I hate people who stare and think that I cannot see them sneering. I hate being angry and irritable all of the time, especially when it hurts the one person that seems to care about me. I hate that I sit in my free time, surveying peoples' lives with envy. I really am starting to hate who I am becoming, but without friends, I'm starting to lose the initiative to stop it. I never thought it would happen, but I miss high school a little bit. I miss the good times I had with my true friends, and I wish I would've appreciated them more while I had the chance.
Well, after all that negativity, I do have a few updates I want to document (I guess.)
I work at Starbucks, which means I get as much fucking free coffee I want during shifts.
I'm completely unsure of my major- I don't know if I can compete.
Yeah... I'm also making a resolution as of now to stop talking about these problems when I actually do get to chat with my old friends. The end!