(no subject)
i wish i updated more on here. i feel i waste my thoughts away if i don't write them down in here. i think i waste them away either way. i should write down things more to know i thought these things that meant something or were atleast interesting. i don't know if that made any sense at all. if it did to anyone i'd be surprised.
i talked to my mum like shit again yesterday. i really wish i knew why i can't just atleast act happy or even interested. i don't mean to talk to her like it. i really don't and i really am trying to stop talking to my parents that way because not only does it make me upset but it makes them upset. i will try to stop it. you could say i punished myself last night for doing it by slashing my arm. which was nice. i'v never really harmed myself like that. yet i felt it helped. which in a way is a good thing. and in another it's not at all.
i want to go up to london at easter to see le tigre with my bee but i asked my parents. and they said no. i don't know if they trust me or not. but i think the fact is they don't trust london. plus they havn't met debbie before so that could be another reason. i hope after they do meet her they WILL let me go stay with her. because at the moment they probably think she's some rageing dyke out to get some of my ass. well yes. we ALL know that. pfft.
i feel a bit better now. i felt rather sick earlier and a little achey. but i'm keeping my chin up the best i can.
xx xx
i talked to my mum like shit again yesterday. i really wish i knew why i can't just atleast act happy or even interested. i don't mean to talk to her like it. i really don't and i really am trying to stop talking to my parents that way because not only does it make me upset but it makes them upset. i will try to stop it. you could say i punished myself last night for doing it by slashing my arm. which was nice. i'v never really harmed myself like that. yet i felt it helped. which in a way is a good thing. and in another it's not at all.
i want to go up to london at easter to see le tigre with my bee but i asked my parents. and they said no. i don't know if they trust me or not. but i think the fact is they don't trust london. plus they havn't met debbie before so that could be another reason. i hope after they do meet her they WILL let me go stay with her. because at the moment they probably think she's some rageing dyke out to get some of my ass. well yes. we ALL know that. pfft.
i feel a bit better now. i felt rather sick earlier and a little achey. but i'm keeping my chin up the best i can.
xx xx