i AM a hateful child...

[xxkdsdsfljxx]

i hate this feeling..
i hate how i'm the one who did this to myself
i hate how i'm the only one still feeling like this
i hate how i feel guilty for everything
i hate how much i miss him...
i hate going to the movies and seeing all the couples
i hate seeing him... and have nothing happen..
i hate being alone with no one to talk too
i hate how i'm the one whos now being forgotten
i hate how i tried to make him happy and it turns around and kills me
i hate how i can't get over this
i hate looking at pictures and remembering everything
i hate listening to music that makes me think of all this
i hate sitting by the phone waiting for a call that will never come...
i hate that i am the only one to blame for the loss of 2 friends, one who i loved soo much...
i hate that this feeling is staying with me for so long..
i hate trying to move on
i hate the thought that i'm just a memory and nothing more..
i hate the way that we are still being "friends"
i hate going to bed thinking about him..
i hate everything.. this list could go on forever..
the thing i hate most is myself...
i wish i could just fun down the street and shatter into millions of pieces..
never having to have to worry about anything..
i hate love.. i hate it.. god never grants my wishes or prayers..
but i really wish that i was dead now....
i hate myself.... i need to leave..