She's Got Whatever It Is (1/1)
Author: xxkatiekatiex
Name: She's Got Whatever It Is (1/1)
Rating: PG
Pairing(s): One sided Kradam. Katy/Adam friendship. Established Katy/Kris
Disclaimer: None of these people is me, nor do I own them. They own themselves. Though if they're smart, they'll get on the Kradam bandwagon soon.
Warning: Angsty. Kind of. I don't write a lot of angst.
Author's Note: I would love a beta. Enquire within.
When Katy found the note, at first she was wary to open it. It wasn't her handwriting that scrawled across the front-- and it wasn't to her either. But Kris was her husband, and she was sure that there was nothing that he could effectively hide from her. He was never a great liar anyway. So, when Kris had gone to bed for the night, she pulled the folded envelope she'd found in the zipper pocket of his suitcase out to read.
Dear Kris,
I suppose you're wondering why there's a letter from me in your suitcase. The fact is, you're seated across from me on the bus, playing some chords and humming under your breath. And I'm such a coward that I can't say any of this to your face. I have to write it to you.
I guess sometimes writing is just easier. Because I'm not going to have to face you as you hear this.
So here goes.
I wish I kissed you that first time you asked what it was like to kiss a guy. I wish I hugged you more than just when you opened your arms to me. I wish I could have known you during Hollywood week. I should have watched your eyes when you sang. I should have cherished what we had while we had it. I wish for a lot of things these days. I wish you weren't so good about things. I wish you wouldn't let me run my fingers through your hair. I wish you wouldn't wrinkle your eyebrows when you're playing the guitar. Because those last three things make me wish the rest of them all that much more.
The tour'll be over by the time you find this, but at least you'll know how I feel. I try to live under a system of no regrets, but sometimes... you just can't help it.
I wonder sometimes if Katy knows how lucky she is. You write songs about her, probably more than even she knows, that are beautiful and heartwrenching. You just want her to be happy, after all.
I know you don't admit just how much you love her to many people, but do a favor for me. Tell her how much you care for her. Make her dinner sometime and then sing to her after dinner. You know, one of those songs you sing on the bus about how every time you try to tell her how you feel it comes out 'I love you'.
It's hard to find someone like that. I speak from experience.
When you find this, know that I'm afriad. I'm afriad of the changes that have come since the end of the tour. I'm afriad of losing you, and Matt, and Anoop, and everyone, really. I'm so scared, Kris. I'm scared that whatever happens, we're going to fall apart and never be the same people again. Don't be the one to change. You need to be my rock, you need to be someone that I can always come to after my heart's been broken. And though I know it'll never happen... if you're ever hurt, you know I'm here for you too. Because that's what happens when you love people.
You always know where to find me,
Adam
By the time Katy had finished reading, her throat had closed off and she was trying to hide her sniffling. She'd always suspected as much from Adam, really... but she thought Kris had always known, and for a time she'd been afraid that it was mutual. She pressed her lips together, glad that she'd never been a woman who cried loudly.
Kris slept on, undisturbed.
------------------------------------------
When Adam awoke the next morning, he had a voicemail from an unfamiliar number.
"Hi, Adam... It's Katy Allen. I just wanted to let you know that I'm scared too. I'm scared for the changes that are happening in all of our lives. But I thought I should let you know that you're always welcome in ours. Kris doesn't want to lose you, and neither do I."
Name: She's Got Whatever It Is (1/1)
Rating: PG
Pairing(s): One sided Kradam. Katy/Adam friendship. Established Katy/Kris
Disclaimer: None of these people is me, nor do I own them. They own themselves. Though if they're smart, they'll get on the Kradam bandwagon soon.
Warning: Angsty. Kind of. I don't write a lot of angst.
Author's Note: I would love a beta. Enquire within.
When Katy found the note, at first she was wary to open it. It wasn't her handwriting that scrawled across the front-- and it wasn't to her either. But Kris was her husband, and she was sure that there was nothing that he could effectively hide from her. He was never a great liar anyway. So, when Kris had gone to bed for the night, she pulled the folded envelope she'd found in the zipper pocket of his suitcase out to read.
Dear Kris,
I suppose you're wondering why there's a letter from me in your suitcase. The fact is, you're seated across from me on the bus, playing some chords and humming under your breath. And I'm such a coward that I can't say any of this to your face. I have to write it to you.
I guess sometimes writing is just easier. Because I'm not going to have to face you as you hear this.
So here goes.
I wish I kissed you that first time you asked what it was like to kiss a guy. I wish I hugged you more than just when you opened your arms to me. I wish I could have known you during Hollywood week. I should have watched your eyes when you sang. I should have cherished what we had while we had it. I wish for a lot of things these days. I wish you weren't so good about things. I wish you wouldn't let me run my fingers through your hair. I wish you wouldn't wrinkle your eyebrows when you're playing the guitar. Because those last three things make me wish the rest of them all that much more.
The tour'll be over by the time you find this, but at least you'll know how I feel. I try to live under a system of no regrets, but sometimes... you just can't help it.
I wonder sometimes if Katy knows how lucky she is. You write songs about her, probably more than even she knows, that are beautiful and heartwrenching. You just want her to be happy, after all.
I know you don't admit just how much you love her to many people, but do a favor for me. Tell her how much you care for her. Make her dinner sometime and then sing to her after dinner. You know, one of those songs you sing on the bus about how every time you try to tell her how you feel it comes out 'I love you'.
It's hard to find someone like that. I speak from experience.
When you find this, know that I'm afriad. I'm afriad of the changes that have come since the end of the tour. I'm afriad of losing you, and Matt, and Anoop, and everyone, really. I'm so scared, Kris. I'm scared that whatever happens, we're going to fall apart and never be the same people again. Don't be the one to change. You need to be my rock, you need to be someone that I can always come to after my heart's been broken. And though I know it'll never happen... if you're ever hurt, you know I'm here for you too. Because that's what happens when you love people.
You always know where to find me,
Adam
By the time Katy had finished reading, her throat had closed off and she was trying to hide her sniffling. She'd always suspected as much from Adam, really... but she thought Kris had always known, and for a time she'd been afraid that it was mutual. She pressed her lips together, glad that she'd never been a woman who cried loudly.
Kris slept on, undisturbed.
------------------------------------------
When Adam awoke the next morning, he had a voicemail from an unfamiliar number.
"Hi, Adam... It's Katy Allen. I just wanted to let you know that I'm scared too. I'm scared for the changes that are happening in all of our lives. But I thought I should let you know that you're always welcome in ours. Kris doesn't want to lose you, and neither do I."