worse than seeing Monkey Bottom go
so today may have been the very last day i stepped in my grandparent's house. the house i grew up in. it is just as much a home to me as my own, infact, i have known it longer. and i know everyone in my family feels just like me. how they don't show it everytime my family talks about the move, i don't know. how they show no signs of regret everytime the take a piece of that house home to their own, and how they don't shed a tear when they walk into an empty room, i will never understand. it has taken every ounce of my ability to keep from breaking infront of anyone. my mother doesnt know, but everytime she talks about my grandparents moving in car rides, i turn to face my window to give out a little release. i feel like i am losing part of my family, not a house. i spent saturday there. it was the "goodbye 79th street party". and as much as i loved seeing my family and swapign stories till one in the morning last night, i can't help but hate it all. my uncle, hannon, made a slide show of our family that we all watched on a huge projection screen he borrowed from his work. and as we all crowded into the main room of the house, everyone began to cry. i think they were crying because of the love my family shares. but not me. i sat there and welled up with tears because at that moment, i realized i was sitting on the fire-orange carpet with my entire family for the very last time in that house. i had to run out onto the deck to sit in a rocker and just sob. no one came out for a few minutes. but then my uncle, corbitt came out to just stroke my head. he knew exactly what i was feeling. after he left, i wiped the trickles of salty tears off my face and the rest of the party poured out onto the deck to watch the bluegrass band my aunt, laura, had hired. and we all stood there under the stars taking in these last moments. soaking up the smell of the old oaks in the backyard. the rest fo the night was filled with laughter. my family gathered in the main room and we reminisced on all the major events we had experienced together in the house. you see, my family isn't just any family. we are closer than anyone's family i have ever met in my life. other than the housands and fred laughter, we love every single person in the family. i went home around 1:00 after saying goodbye to lauren and meredith who had flights in the morning to florida. this morning i went back over to the house and stayed till about 3:00 and went back over around 6:00. and i didn't leave till about 9:30. all i know is, there is nothing easy about seeing this house go. and i can tell my grandfather is anything but happy to move into this new condo my grandmother is so excited about. i hate it and i never want to go to it. i am going to miss that house and all the memories in it more than i ever could have imagined. the day i see another car in the driveway will be too soon. way too soon. strange how something like a house can be so sentimental. i swear when i was little, i thought i would live in that house with my own family one day. this is way worse than seeing there beach house in whale head get sold.