Finally an update
Well, I'm going to start off with whats been going on the past few weeks since the last time I posted.
Me and Billy work it out, then it crashes back down, then we work it out again, only to have it crash once more. I'm so tired of the constant fighting, its driving me freaking batty. What do I do? Sometimes I wish I could just be like, FUCK IT and leave him, but I can't. I really do love him so much it hurts. At times its complete perfection, othertimes its pure hell. I wish we could find a mid-ground, where both of us could just be happy. He's going off on this tangent about how he "needs his space and freedom," and when I try to let go (which is extremely hard for me) it doesn't seem to matter because he wont acknowledge it, he says I don't give him enough space, we hardly ever talk anymore! During his breaks at work, but most of the time when he gets home, he crashes on the couch and sleeps all night so I don't get to spend time with him. So I crave emotional conversation, and he gets frustrated and doesn't want to "Talk about emotions." And he still says I'm the selfish one. Whatever! We had a fight earlier today, then made up. We got off the phone at like 9:50pm and he said he'd call me back in a few minutes, its now 12:09am and I can't say anything about it because, he'll say I'm naggin.
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Also, I've been hanging out with Jimmy and Jagger a lot here lately, having fun. The other night was pretty interesting, Friday night actually, me and Jimmy were getting back to his house and this annoying little skater kid named RJ decided to come up to us, without knowing anything about us, and ask if we did drugs and then tried to sell us morphine. What an idiot. Then he decides he *HAS* to hangout, and he wont go away, he starts acting so fake it made me sick. I was there for like 2 hours before I left to come back home, and the next day I found out that he decided that he had a huge crush on me, and THOUGHT I liked HIM. NO WAY!!!!! Not in a million fucking years. I hate to sound shallow, but dudes UGLY. Then he lied and said that I told him I'd go out to dinner with him, WTF. I hate idiots. I also found out that earlier Saturday, he had been ACTING like he was fucked up to look cool in front of a few people over Jimmy's house. How lame do you get?
On another note, I answered the phone at Jimmys and this fat ugly dyke bitch *ERICA* calls, and asks for jimmy. He wasn't there so I told her that he wasn't then she decides to tell ME that he was there and I had "better put him on the fucking phone." I was like, HE's NOT HERE. So then she's like "Tell him when he gets home that he needs to call Erica, he's been saying bullshit about me and I'm pissed." So I was like OK whatever, then she is like "by the way, fuck you too." I hate to tell her, but she better hope that I don't see her until I have the chance to cool down. ~~~She's Mad because everyone is finding out she's doing heroin, and she's mad about it, she had the nerve to drill someone about it, while she was crushing up an OC, later on she spent like what? $150 on h!!!!!!! LMAO Hypocrite!!!! So now everyone knows, as they should. I hope I added to it.
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When I got home last night, I got drilled about my cell phone bill, it was like $190 dollars and my mom got pissed and took the damn thing away from me. So for anyone who has been trying to call me and cant get through, I hope you read this and now know why. I was also suppose to do a favor for a couple friends today and that ended up fuckin up because I'm *grounded* and without my cell phone, and I had no idea how to get in touch with them, I hope they're not pissed.
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Thats about it for now,
Julzy
Me and Billy work it out, then it crashes back down, then we work it out again, only to have it crash once more. I'm so tired of the constant fighting, its driving me freaking batty. What do I do? Sometimes I wish I could just be like, FUCK IT and leave him, but I can't. I really do love him so much it hurts. At times its complete perfection, othertimes its pure hell. I wish we could find a mid-ground, where both of us could just be happy. He's going off on this tangent about how he "needs his space and freedom," and when I try to let go (which is extremely hard for me) it doesn't seem to matter because he wont acknowledge it, he says I don't give him enough space, we hardly ever talk anymore! During his breaks at work, but most of the time when he gets home, he crashes on the couch and sleeps all night so I don't get to spend time with him. So I crave emotional conversation, and he gets frustrated and doesn't want to "Talk about emotions." And he still says I'm the selfish one. Whatever! We had a fight earlier today, then made up. We got off the phone at like 9:50pm and he said he'd call me back in a few minutes, its now 12:09am and I can't say anything about it because, he'll say I'm naggin.
------------------------------
Also, I've been hanging out with Jimmy and Jagger a lot here lately, having fun. The other night was pretty interesting, Friday night actually, me and Jimmy were getting back to his house and this annoying little skater kid named RJ decided to come up to us, without knowing anything about us, and ask if we did drugs and then tried to sell us morphine. What an idiot. Then he decides he *HAS* to hangout, and he wont go away, he starts acting so fake it made me sick. I was there for like 2 hours before I left to come back home, and the next day I found out that he decided that he had a huge crush on me, and THOUGHT I liked HIM. NO WAY!!!!! Not in a million fucking years. I hate to sound shallow, but dudes UGLY. Then he lied and said that I told him I'd go out to dinner with him, WTF. I hate idiots. I also found out that earlier Saturday, he had been ACTING like he was fucked up to look cool in front of a few people over Jimmy's house. How lame do you get?
On another note, I answered the phone at Jimmys and this fat ugly dyke bitch *ERICA* calls, and asks for jimmy. He wasn't there so I told her that he wasn't then she decides to tell ME that he was there and I had "better put him on the fucking phone." I was like, HE's NOT HERE. So then she's like "Tell him when he gets home that he needs to call Erica, he's been saying bullshit about me and I'm pissed." So I was like OK whatever, then she is like "by the way, fuck you too." I hate to tell her, but she better hope that I don't see her until I have the chance to cool down. ~~~She's Mad because everyone is finding out she's doing heroin, and she's mad about it, she had the nerve to drill someone about it, while she was crushing up an OC, later on she spent like what? $150 on h!!!!!!! LMAO Hypocrite!!!! So now everyone knows, as they should. I hope I added to it.
--------------------------------
When I got home last night, I got drilled about my cell phone bill, it was like $190 dollars and my mom got pissed and took the damn thing away from me. So for anyone who has been trying to call me and cant get through, I hope you read this and now know why. I was also suppose to do a favor for a couple friends today and that ended up fuckin up because I'm *grounded* and without my cell phone, and I had no idea how to get in touch with them, I hope they're not pissed.
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Thats about it for now,
Julzy