well then.

[xxjuliet]

i want to purge but i can't.
it's been a while.
i didn't get diagnosed because it's been a while.
it's been a while because a month ago i ruptured my esophagus and thought it'd be a swell idea to hold off on wreching my guts out for a bit.

so. i didn't get diagnosed, i purged this weekend, and re-opened the open whateverthehellitis in my throat. all for nothing. it feels like i'm swallowing pieces of something every time i swallow. i wouldn't be surprised if i'm feeling ruptured tissue.

ugh.

i ate like shit today on top of it.
shitshitshit.

what do we have here?
- lucky charms with skim milk.
- half a plate of dinner. some salad food, some pasta, corn bread.
- frozen yogurt. a little piece of cake.
- two fistfulls of salad.

fat ass.

what happened to 2-4-6-8?
2-4-6-8 my ass.

why am i so fucking hungry right now?!

ajhsiklfghskfghjak lfgjha.

if i was absolutely thrilled at the idea of them using my intestines to repair my esophagus, i'd go throw it all up. but i'm not, so i won't.
but CHRIST does it sound perfect.

purging anorexia sucks serious ass.
..good thing i don't have it, eh doctor?