well then.
i should have been in bed 2 hours ago. fuck me.
flashbacks like crazy whoa.
feeling more and more immature.
he's "popping up" again and it's scaring the shit out of me, even though it has no reason to.
poor daniel.
our windshield needs to be replaced. some rocks blew out of a truck on the freeway, three lanes over. a sign on it said "gravel for sale." well, one rock put a small dent in one side of the windshield, and another rock hit the edge of the windshield so hard it started a crack that has now spread halfway across the windshield. fanfuckingtastic. my dad can get some sort of discount because he works for avis, which is cool, but windshields go for about $1000. great.
i'm a fatass again. i want to see bones in my back.
i hate my body so much.
today i told daniel i wanted to erase myself out of existence. that was interesting to me.
i hate school.
it makes me feel stupid.
i feel stupid that i can't shake this. growthefuckup. it's over.
christ.
whatever.
thursday night, daniel, rachel, and i went to see jarhead. i sobbed the whole way through. sometimes harder than others. it was crazy. when we got home, i just layed on the floor and stared at the ceiling for a while. i felt like i was in shock. i couldn't think straight. that movie was some kind of powerful.
and now i need to sleep.. because i have to be up in 5 hours and 58 minutes.
goodnight.
flashbacks like crazy whoa.
feeling more and more immature.
he's "popping up" again and it's scaring the shit out of me, even though it has no reason to.
poor daniel.
our windshield needs to be replaced. some rocks blew out of a truck on the freeway, three lanes over. a sign on it said "gravel for sale." well, one rock put a small dent in one side of the windshield, and another rock hit the edge of the windshield so hard it started a crack that has now spread halfway across the windshield. fanfuckingtastic. my dad can get some sort of discount because he works for avis, which is cool, but windshields go for about $1000. great.
i'm a fatass again. i want to see bones in my back.
i hate my body so much.
today i told daniel i wanted to erase myself out of existence. that was interesting to me.
i hate school.
it makes me feel stupid.
i feel stupid that i can't shake this. growthefuckup. it's over.
christ.
whatever.
thursday night, daniel, rachel, and i went to see jarhead. i sobbed the whole way through. sometimes harder than others. it was crazy. when we got home, i just layed on the floor and stared at the ceiling for a while. i felt like i was in shock. i couldn't think straight. that movie was some kind of powerful.
and now i need to sleep.. because i have to be up in 5 hours and 58 minutes.
goodnight.