off the grid
Update is that I'm staying with Brian. I still have no phone, or anything else. But, I have good company and a place to dwell in.
I don't understand why it seems everyone around me manages to be completely inconsiderate and irresponsible all the time. Sure, there are exceptions. But, as a whole, I feel as though even the people closest to me are strangers, certain to betray me at the drop of a hat, knowing full well how selfish they are, yet still lying to me and pretending to care. I know no one anymore, simply that I'm a doormat. I don't like being oblivious, or left to shoulder everyone else's burdens. I love helping, but I've been far too stressed to deal with any of this lately. I have nothing to call my own, other than complete stagnancy, loss of pride, plenty of tears and dependence.
I also hate that when people are needed the most is when they choose to turn their backs, or make no effort. No longer will I choose to spend my time being overly aware of their feelings, as the favor isn't returned.
I thank Mikey, Dan Loose and Max for supporting me through this tonight.
I say to hell with the past few weeks and especially today, as well as death, especially of a wonderful person. I want one day of just good news and easy passing with nothing being drastically wrong. At least I got to listen to The Get Up Kids on the car ride home.
Mr. Wyatt and I are going to bed now, and I am sleeping for as long as possible. I'm sorry that I seem bitter. It's hard to explain, but it would seem I have awful luck so far as hitting one bad wave after another, even though I've tried my damnedest to stay strong, hold it together and smile through it.
Other people make bad choices to suffer the consequences. I don't even get to make decisions, just deal with the occurrences handed to me. Too bad they're always unfortunate when I've done nothing to deserve it. All I do in life is try to be a half-decent person.
I miss the people I used to have.
I don't understand why it seems everyone around me manages to be completely inconsiderate and irresponsible all the time. Sure, there are exceptions. But, as a whole, I feel as though even the people closest to me are strangers, certain to betray me at the drop of a hat, knowing full well how selfish they are, yet still lying to me and pretending to care. I know no one anymore, simply that I'm a doormat. I don't like being oblivious, or left to shoulder everyone else's burdens. I love helping, but I've been far too stressed to deal with any of this lately. I have nothing to call my own, other than complete stagnancy, loss of pride, plenty of tears and dependence.
I also hate that when people are needed the most is when they choose to turn their backs, or make no effort. No longer will I choose to spend my time being overly aware of their feelings, as the favor isn't returned.
I thank Mikey, Dan Loose and Max for supporting me through this tonight.
I say to hell with the past few weeks and especially today, as well as death, especially of a wonderful person. I want one day of just good news and easy passing with nothing being drastically wrong. At least I got to listen to The Get Up Kids on the car ride home.
Mr. Wyatt and I are going to bed now, and I am sleeping for as long as possible. I'm sorry that I seem bitter. It's hard to explain, but it would seem I have awful luck so far as hitting one bad wave after another, even though I've tried my damnedest to stay strong, hold it together and smile through it.
Other people make bad choices to suffer the consequences. I don't even get to make decisions, just deal with the occurrences handed to me. Too bad they're always unfortunate when I've done nothing to deserve it. All I do in life is try to be a half-decent person.
I miss the people I used to have.