(no subject)

[xxjackpackxx]

so
i have pretty much never felt this lost in my entire life.

ever.

i have always had more than one place that i felt like i had to be. that i belonged, and that i just HAD to be there. For a while, i had that here too. but even worse, with three places.

in probably the past 2 weeks
i lied
its been longer than that
it's just gotten really bad in the past weekish
i have felt completely lost.

i want to go into detail with this so badly
but there is no way to explain it
other than it changes back and forth about 57 times a day
and each side has it's advantages
and then something will happen and it will switch to another.

and right now i don't have a side
because i don't feel like i belong in any particular one of my options

it's amazing how much things change.
one year is a really long time
if it wasn't for that one family there, i know what i would do
and if it wasn't for that one family in the other place, i know what i would do.

x,jckxdjfdjsdkfhgkfhdgkhdfgkjfhddfjkhgfdj i need to talk.
but i can'ttttttt.
dkfjskdljfklsdfjlksdjflksdjflksdj

wtf i can't believe i just wrote a flippin whiny thing on livejournal.

i'll probably get rid of this by next week.
i don't think people realize how ridiculous of a concept it is.
maybe they do and i'm just a little late.

oh boy, now im getting into an eff the internet mood.
it's called the telephone.
and paper and stamps.
learn how to use them.
you can build stronger relationships with people, i promise.