UM won..lame
so- this is my last term here and i wanted to show off to my sis that UM sucked and FSU was better..and i think we lost. erg. w/e i'm not that big of a football fan anyway (that's normally what a loser would say anyway LOL)
so- it's been intense here. i've been working my ass off and i'm getting pretty exhausted. my body is getting run down from fasting and working and staying up late and just ...doing stuff. i've been actually making an effort to pray recently. like in the morning when i wake up and in the evening when i break my fast. i also obstained from having sex and/or drinking. ...it's been putting a toll on my relationship with luis cos he's always wanting sex..but surprisingly he has been respecting my values. even if he didn't i would have just ignored him but none-the-less..^_^
so i have 2 kittens here...one's a black/grey tabby named pouncer and the other is a siamese named cornstarch. ..well i got pouncer for free from a family that were giving away kitties...and he was in pretty good shape just a tiny flea prob but i got rid of them w/a flea bath. well cornstarch had dirt in his ears and fleas and i gave him a flea bath but they were miami fleas. ..i got him from luis's mom and he's a real mess! i feel hella bad cos now the WHOLE house is craz flea-ed up and both cats have that dirt in their ear and now that i google it...it's ear mites which can lead to deafness!! ...now i feel like a negligent mom ..but i really didn't know! and all these hours i've been working is actually to pay to take them to the vet this thursday. ...ug. it kind of hurts my stomach to think they're in pain. ...it's crazy because i don't know if i want kids if this is how it's gonna be like times a million! i don't know if i'm ready for that kind of responsibility. i keep having really bad dreams about me stressing over these cats and then something really bad happens to them or something. hm.
so i was down in miami taking care of some business and i decided to drop in on my bestfriend ashley. [so recap on her: she was friends w/me in NMB (highschool) but we never really got that close. it was when me and her started going to miami-dade that we started to get close. when her b/f proposed to her and left to go to navy training, me and her were inseparable. in fact her now hub is still jealous of our relationship cos he thinks its more than friendship *shrug* we've been talking for a long time but i have really bad trust issues and when i told her something near and dear to my heart and her now husband blurted it out in a convo...i got hurt by it. i told her that i didn't like that she told him but she was like 'well we are kinda married and i do tell him everything' ...i understood but after that i really held back from her. well, he's in the navy and they both moved to Guam for a year and now she moved back w/her mom in miami since he's at Guantanamo. now she's gotten a cutie baby girl with him and they're about to move to jacksonville.] she is SO different. when they say that by having a baby you change...well you change ALOT. it's crazy! i saw her when she was pregnant and she was still ok to hang with and talk to but after the baby it was like...i don't know. i guess i didn't see her as that young girl i knew but as a 'grown responsible mom.' like when she was talking to me on facebook it was weird to see her comments cos i wouldn't expect it. what makes it weirder is that i know other friends who have kids and i can totally accept that they have them and be cool with that. ...maybe i haven't accepted this yet. hrm.
ok it's late as hell and i gotta wake up in 4 hrs ...night!!
so- it's been intense here. i've been working my ass off and i'm getting pretty exhausted. my body is getting run down from fasting and working and staying up late and just ...doing stuff. i've been actually making an effort to pray recently. like in the morning when i wake up and in the evening when i break my fast. i also obstained from having sex and/or drinking. ...it's been putting a toll on my relationship with luis cos he's always wanting sex..but surprisingly he has been respecting my values. even if he didn't i would have just ignored him but none-the-less..^_^
so i have 2 kittens here...one's a black/grey tabby named pouncer and the other is a siamese named cornstarch. ..well i got pouncer for free from a family that were giving away kitties...and he was in pretty good shape just a tiny flea prob but i got rid of them w/a flea bath. well cornstarch had dirt in his ears and fleas and i gave him a flea bath but they were miami fleas. ..i got him from luis's mom and he's a real mess! i feel hella bad cos now the WHOLE house is craz flea-ed up and both cats have that dirt in their ear and now that i google it...it's ear mites which can lead to deafness!! ...now i feel like a negligent mom ..but i really didn't know! and all these hours i've been working is actually to pay to take them to the vet this thursday. ...ug. it kind of hurts my stomach to think they're in pain. ...it's crazy because i don't know if i want kids if this is how it's gonna be like times a million! i don't know if i'm ready for that kind of responsibility. i keep having really bad dreams about me stressing over these cats and then something really bad happens to them or something. hm.
so i was down in miami taking care of some business and i decided to drop in on my bestfriend ashley. [so recap on her: she was friends w/me in NMB (highschool) but we never really got that close. it was when me and her started going to miami-dade that we started to get close. when her b/f proposed to her and left to go to navy training, me and her were inseparable. in fact her now hub is still jealous of our relationship cos he thinks its more than friendship *shrug* we've been talking for a long time but i have really bad trust issues and when i told her something near and dear to my heart and her now husband blurted it out in a convo...i got hurt by it. i told her that i didn't like that she told him but she was like 'well we are kinda married and i do tell him everything' ...i understood but after that i really held back from her. well, he's in the navy and they both moved to Guam for a year and now she moved back w/her mom in miami since he's at Guantanamo. now she's gotten a cutie baby girl with him and they're about to move to jacksonville.] she is SO different. when they say that by having a baby you change...well you change ALOT. it's crazy! i saw her when she was pregnant and she was still ok to hang with and talk to but after the baby it was like...i don't know. i guess i didn't see her as that young girl i knew but as a 'grown responsible mom.' like when she was talking to me on facebook it was weird to see her comments cos i wouldn't expect it. what makes it weirder is that i know other friends who have kids and i can totally accept that they have them and be cool with that. ...maybe i haven't accepted this yet. hrm.
ok it's late as hell and i gotta wake up in 4 hrs ...night!!