another wasted day...
I have realized everything tonight. I have realized that I have lost all purpose to be happy, I have realized that I am nothing here. I have realized that I am not the person I have ever dreamed of being because I am not pretty, I am not perfect and I am not creative or can say something to make someone be happy.
I cannot do any of these things. I can do one thing and it won't go away. I can't control it at all, (NOTHING SUICIDAL). I feel like I am so worthless and I can't do anything becasue I am not like her, or that girl over there, or that other one. I am not like any of them and thats what is wanted in this world...yet I am farther away from it than I have ever been.
Why do I feel so bad and I can't even explain any of it, all I can do is cry and I hate it I hate being me and how I am...I am dreading this weekend because everyone is going to just go and have fun and I can't. I can't do anything. I won't do anything for my birthday because I just can't and wont.
I can't control it anymore, I can't even control when I cry or anything. I don't want to show my face anywhere anymore, its pointless and worthless...because that's what I am and I hate it.
I cannot do any of these things. I can do one thing and it won't go away. I can't control it at all, (NOTHING SUICIDAL). I feel like I am so worthless and I can't do anything becasue I am not like her, or that girl over there, or that other one. I am not like any of them and thats what is wanted in this world...yet I am farther away from it than I have ever been.
Why do I feel so bad and I can't even explain any of it, all I can do is cry and I hate it I hate being me and how I am...I am dreading this weekend because everyone is going to just go and have fun and I can't. I can't do anything. I won't do anything for my birthday because I just can't and wont.
I can't control it anymore, I can't even control when I cry or anything. I don't want to show my face anywhere anymore, its pointless and worthless...because that's what I am and I hate it.