urgh
I'm just fucking pissed off with everything, people just can't leave me alone when I want to be left alone! And worse, my mother's on my back about everything urgh. It's so fucking annoying, because now we're both fucked with each other and I just need to kill something. Honestly, I need to kick the shit out of something. She's... driving me insane!!
It started off with Lithium on the TV; then she started being smart and saying things and then we talked about this guy in town, whose a little strange. Hes so chirpy and smart, but he's too smart. and, she goes "It's hard to spot things like that". And I was like "There are many signs for things. I mean, look at depression and suicide. There are so many signs, yet people ignore them." And she was like "Maybe, but how would you know?" and I'm like "I;m not stupid". She shouldn't have to be told, I'm not happy. She should realise that I know a lot about depression, there's a reason for it. And then we got into a discussion about a time when I was at school and I wouldn't go, and she appriently was upset about it. Because, I wouldn't say why. But the fact was, I didn't know at that point it was because I couldn't cope with the people. It was like "I DONT KNOW" and she was like "YOU MUST FUCKING KNOW!" So, she took me to a fucking doctor and it upset me because he implyed I was crazy for being myself. And then she said he wasn't. HE WAS. Whever it sounded like that to her or not, it did to me. And then, when I brought it up just now, she goes "He wasnt't saying that" and I was like "Well, actually, he said there was something wrong with how I acted. Thats basically saying theres something wrong with being yourself" he carried on and implied I was mental. And like, then she goes "No he wasn't impling he never even said that. You just heard it." So... now SHEs saying I'm crazy urgh. I wish she'd understand I'm fucking depressed and I've been having a hard time but now.
And, she was depressed I don't know when but she overdosed on pills god knows when. But, she should be noticing these signs.. yet she's not. I think if she found out then she'd understand why I love MCR so much; I think she'd understand that I depend on them. URGH she's just driving me insane though, it's like urgh. Things were going well as well.
It started off with Lithium on the TV; then she started being smart and saying things and then we talked about this guy in town, whose a little strange. Hes so chirpy and smart, but he's too smart. and, she goes "It's hard to spot things like that". And I was like "There are many signs for things. I mean, look at depression and suicide. There are so many signs, yet people ignore them." And she was like "Maybe, but how would you know?" and I'm like "I;m not stupid". She shouldn't have to be told, I'm not happy. She should realise that I know a lot about depression, there's a reason for it. And then we got into a discussion about a time when I was at school and I wouldn't go, and she appriently was upset about it. Because, I wouldn't say why. But the fact was, I didn't know at that point it was because I couldn't cope with the people. It was like "I DONT KNOW" and she was like "YOU MUST FUCKING KNOW!" So, she took me to a fucking doctor and it upset me because he implyed I was crazy for being myself. And then she said he wasn't. HE WAS. Whever it sounded like that to her or not, it did to me. And then, when I brought it up just now, she goes "He wasnt't saying that" and I was like "Well, actually, he said there was something wrong with how I acted. Thats basically saying theres something wrong with being yourself" he carried on and implied I was mental. And like, then she goes "No he wasn't impling he never even said that. You just heard it." So... now SHEs saying I'm crazy urgh. I wish she'd understand I'm fucking depressed and I've been having a hard time but now.
And, she was depressed I don't know when but she overdosed on pills god knows when. But, she should be noticing these signs.. yet she's not. I think if she found out then she'd understand why I love MCR so much; I think she'd understand that I depend on them. URGH she's just driving me insane though, it's like urgh. Things were going well as well.