love
i find life extremely unpleasant right now. im sick of people. i need to go out and do something anywhere but at home but i cant. i am sick of being alone. i am sick of trying, whenever i try to help people it always backfires and they get pissed i dont see why i even care anymore. i find that im on a boat of despair(as my freind described it) and i watch each person step off at the dock and they meet their "love" i just remain on the boat and soon enough i will be the only one left and the boat wont dock again. how do we know what love is? everyone says it is in the kiss, you just know but how do we know it isnt just the longing of being loved that makes us feel that. everyone wants to be loved so you go looking for it. that is how i have found it to be. and you all are too sex oriented, doesnt LOVE matter anymore? people seem to rely on sex to have a relationship now its not about being able to talk to the person anymore, its about having better sex im sick of how low people are now. sinceraly i could go life without sex, and i so far only know of one persont hat feels the same way as i do in that subject. yes, i find holding hands and kissing is cute and fun but cinstantly needing to grope at eachother is disgusting. dont get me wrong, i will repeat again that I AGREE WITH KISSING AND HOLDING HANDS AND SUCH and i will oarticipate in this if i ever get a boyfreind but there is no need to be so controlled by sex. i find it disgusting. well now onto a happier subject, i think. many of my freinds always tell me im always so happy and hyper, but truley, im not. i really am quite sad most of the time but i dont want to act like it because i know it isnt fun to be around people that are constantly sad when you want to have fun. yes i am hyper but truley, i cant recall a time yet that i was truley happy. and if you dont want to be my freind because im sad, or depressed at times then it is your loss, a real freind helped me to realize that. yes i may be a tad upset over no longer being your freind but i truley will be better off. well thanks if you lasted through all my pathetic blabbering i really appreaciate it. ~farewell~