time for another super long...sad entry...that no one will read...
well...Joe is taking his road test today..i guess that is one good thing that has happend all month. i really hope he doesnt go to football, that poor boy is so tired. he really wants to be captain tho...so i bet he'll go for like an hour..then go take his road test..then go back to football...like a good boy..lol. I LOVE YOU HUNNY!!
im so scard. my mom and collin have been fighting, and the other night..collin stayed out really late and came home with another girls fone number. that just broke my heart! i mean..we lived like that when my parents were still married. my dad would stay out to all hours of the night..and pick up girls and shit....we dont want to live like that again. i really did think that collin was different...i thought he loved us...god i look up to him so much, but i guess i was wrong. man..i really hope they dont break up. i love collin so much. and when i am at home i feel safe. not like how i feel when im in warren. when im in warren...i dont know...i just feel on edge. i dont know what my dad is going to do next ya know. i mean half the time he doesnt know im over here...but ducks dad told me the other day that he came around the block looking for me. that is some scary shit! i dont know what state of mind that man is in. i dont even know if he has been taking his mends. on top of that..warren is just a dirty...dirty...white trash infested deth trap. there are 12 years olds DRINKING up at the park! what the hell has the world come too!!
man...my life sucks so bad. now really....you think you got it bad...
- ohhh..i found out that i have a little half brother running around somewhere. im gonna find this kid...kick his mother in the shin...and tell him what a fucked up dad he has. no..i dont think i will be that mean. what if he really likes this guy that he calls "daddy" i couldnt take that away from him. hell i wish i had a daddy...
- ever sence i was little..my dad has never really been around. he was allways off with some other girl..or what ever the hell he was doing. when he would come home..he would knock around my mom for a while. when my mom left his sorry ass...and he didnt have her as a punching bag anymore...he turned to me. WOW that is like the first time i have ever just openly said that..but i dont really care anymore.
- my dad tryed killing himself...twice in the same week. first he tryed to Od on pills...but not just anyones pills...Kimmy's pills. someone who has been nothing but nice to us, and has opend her heart and her home to me and Nae sence we were little. and on top of that..she had cancer..which took her life. what a scum bag. when that bastard woke up in the hosptal...he ran away...lol..yeah..he ran away. he didnt get to far tho. just to the basment bathroom where he tryed hanging himself. the sadest part of it all is that i really felt sorry for him. i felt sorry up untill the time he got out..and pretended like nothing was wrong. he fuckin acting like it never happend. he never talked to me and Nae about it...he never told us he was sorry..nothing. he just went back to playing with him fuckin car.
- yeah..like i said before...mom and collin have been fighting.. that is really starting to take a tole. i sware i am emotionaly drained from that shit...
- Nae.... i miss her. she has changed so much. now its like her friends come first...and that hurts me. we havent hung out, or even talked like we used to. she used to be one of my best friends...but now...we are like strangers passing in the night. i havent even seen her in 3 days. for all of you pot heads out there...no offence..but you just dont know what that shit does to your family. i never stop worrieing about Nae. what if she gets a bad stash or what ever. what if its laced with something...and someone trys to hurt her. fuck man...its like that is all she cares about....her friends..and weed. ohh god..and then there Earl. i mean i dont really know the kid that well...but i asked some of her friends..and they dont even think she should be going out with him. that has to tell you something. i want to tell her..but that would only make her mad..and she would just keep doing it anyway. she cant see the fact that i love her...and im just trying to help her....help her..see what else is out there..and that life doesnt have to be all about her shit hole friends and pot.
- does anyone even read this... i mean..besides.. Nick, Joe and Duck?
Danelle...i sware i didnt forget about you...its just things are really messed up right now..as you can see. i know that is no reason not to give you your pictures back, and i am really really sorry. i feel soooo bad. i think about it everyday. but i have been in Dearborn Hights. so give me your address..and i will mail them to you. you can email it to me...my address is in my info. i am so sorry..and i know your upset with me...but i hope we can still be friends...and who has that slip of paper with our bets on it...we have to look over that on the first day of school..lol