i probably hate you too.
worst day ever.
went to sleep at, um, 4 am.
woke up at 6:20 am with a sharp, numbing pain in both of my shoulders.. which travelled into my neck. i couldn't lay down to go back to sleep.. so i cried until my eyes hurt more than my shoulders. to make matters better, i was having my meal replacement breakfast shake when my dad told me that i look like a body builder and that he'd rather have me look "delicate" than the way i am. i guess i'm beefy. thanks, dad. add fuel to the fire. anyway, 3 painkillers later, i slept from 10 am to 1 pm.. with my mom telling me that i had to eat. i wanted to die.
today was miserable. i didn't have the energy to do anything, talk to anyone, go anywhere. nothing. i just sat and watched law and order for most of the day until i took a nap at 6. i woke up to go watch tv downstairs (and was bombarded with the svelte figures of all the miss universe competitors) when my dad comes home and says, "you know, i was thinking.. those shakes you drink.. they're making you big. you look chubby.".. all that before even a hello. that's it. i'm done. fuckin' they're asking for me to go back to the way i was. ok, done. at least then everyone will be happy. you want me to fuckin' stop eating. done. you want me to fuckin' throw up after i eat. done. i'm fucking sick of this bullshit.
all i want to do is cry. i'm out.
went to sleep at, um, 4 am.
woke up at 6:20 am with a sharp, numbing pain in both of my shoulders.. which travelled into my neck. i couldn't lay down to go back to sleep.. so i cried until my eyes hurt more than my shoulders. to make matters better, i was having my meal replacement breakfast shake when my dad told me that i look like a body builder and that he'd rather have me look "delicate" than the way i am. i guess i'm beefy. thanks, dad. add fuel to the fire. anyway, 3 painkillers later, i slept from 10 am to 1 pm.. with my mom telling me that i had to eat. i wanted to die.
today was miserable. i didn't have the energy to do anything, talk to anyone, go anywhere. nothing. i just sat and watched law and order for most of the day until i took a nap at 6. i woke up to go watch tv downstairs (and was bombarded with the svelte figures of all the miss universe competitors) when my dad comes home and says, "you know, i was thinking.. those shakes you drink.. they're making you big. you look chubby.".. all that before even a hello. that's it. i'm done. fuckin' they're asking for me to go back to the way i was. ok, done. at least then everyone will be happy. you want me to fuckin' stop eating. done. you want me to fuckin' throw up after i eat. done. i'm fucking sick of this bullshit.
all i want to do is cry. i'm out.